heatherphernelia

And now I’m runnin’ out of ways to numb the pain.

fun fact, i can be killed but it won’t last

This is so vague it scares me

i grow back

No longer vague but equally scary

last semester i was at a party and i checked my phone for the time and this guy took a glance at my lock screen over my shoulder and said “is that naruto?” and my drunk ass turned around and said “you know him?”

THE GREATEST JOKE ADVENTURE TIME HAS EVER WRITTEN

People like to make fun of animators but jokes on them…

‪A year changes you a lot. Think back to who you were last June. If you have been working hard and healing, celebrate your progress. The summer solstice is a reset point.‬

not to be fake deep but this is for the lions living in the wiry broke down frames of my friends’ bodies

The Front Bottoms write songs that sound fun and that you dance around to, then one day you realize how damn sad they really are and cry.

@sskullsandb0nes

AKJSDFKLSD THEY MADE HIM A MONK

Bigotón means giant mustache in Spanish FYI

you ever have 8,045 bad mental health days in a row

you ever have 8,046 bad mental health days in a row

thats 22 years of bad mental health are you okay

you ever have 8,050 bad mental health days in a row

They’re deactivated now and I really hope they are okay, but my nihilism is telling me something else. :(

beginning of joke

i honestly dont understand this joke and its frustrating me

 I do have a remarkable tendency to miss the Juicy Juice Hypotenuse.

Can we always call it that oh my god

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl 

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. 

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.