Hazelnoot

work tomorrow is one of the worst things that can happen to you

why does my mother suddenly fail kindergarten whenever she tries to do anything on the computer

I know she doesn't know what "the maximise button" is so I told her "click the square at the top right" and she clicked...the printer icon...in the middle of the toolbar. and I'm just like okay. this isn't a technology thing you are flunking basic shapes and directions. I'm turning off your computer and getting you a block puzzle. you have a master's degree

When I got my first debit account (I was 19 and this occurred during COVID, if that adds any additional context), I had no clue what ‘cash back’ meant, I thought it was ‘cash back’ in the loyalty rewards way, I was curious about the ‘DO YOU WANT CASH BACK?’ screen with all the pre-programmed money amounts. Instead of looking it up, I clicked the $20 option at Food Lion one day and I was completely astounded when the cashier pulled a $20 out of the cash register and went to hand it to me. This is the opposite of the natural order of things. The cashier was the same age as me and visibly baked so for a fraction of a second, I was wondering if our wires got crossed somehow. I just stood there for a moment staring at him in confusion while he stared at me in confusion. Then, I took the $20 and gathered up my groceries and left. Luckily, $20 didn’t put me into overdraft. No harm done, just a very embarrassing moment. Anyway, if someone comes into your retail job behaving like it is their first day on earth, it is probably because they feel like it is their first day on earth. We’re all just trying to figure this bullshit out. Amen.

can I come over and not speak

having free control over our endrocrine systems and the ability to change our genitals is currently inextricably tied to trans rights, and for good reason, but frankly i don't think it even needs to be. it should just be a matter of bodily autonomy, and that should be universal. if a cis dude wants tits and a pussy i think that would be fine. if cis women want a dick or nothing at all that should be allowed i think. people shouldn't need to be transgender to be allowed to change their bodies. free the nipple, enlarge the nipple, remove the nipple. whatever the fuck you want. i dont know if there's a term for this belief but i hold it very strongly. everybody biohack yourselves NOW

Official ominous sign

The upside to the adhd forgetting that you made yourself a drink thing is thinking to yourself “man I could go for a drink right now” and looking to your right and seeing a drink has appeared there. Thank you, past me. I lost you somewhere but you have still provided.