hiding in plain sight

obsessed that a french guy was like, hmmmmmm I wish to write a spanish-language musical about a mexican drug cartel crime lord transitioning. sure I can't write music, don't speak spanish, know nothing about mexico or the drug war, and also know nothing about being trans; but that shall not stop me

like sometimes we look at job applications and we're like "I'm not sure I'm qualified" and this guy meets 0% of the requirements and still has 13 academy award noms. when will it be my turn to have this extreme mediocre white man experience???

i made your favorite dish. i made you something you’ve never tried before. i love you. i spent twenty minutes chopping. my grandmother made this for me when i was little. i made this dairy free for you. i love you. i want to eat together. the onions made me cry. i love you. i learned this recipe for you. i love you. i made this special for your birthday. i love you. i know you don’t like peppers. i love you. i love you. i love you.

the person that you could’ve been or the life you could’ve lived isn’t real. it’s an illusion and a fantasy that only exists in your head. all you have is here and now

“I don’t want to be a burden” you’re more like a relief, a gift, a blessing actually

“i dont want to be a burden” dude i found the point of it all thanks to you. i realised the joy of existing is doing so with you bro

"i don't want to be a burden" you're worth carrying. i don't care if you'd be worth it to you; you're worth it to me. i smile every time i think of you. and buddy you're just gonna have to figure out how to cope w that <3

"I don't want to be a burden" human hands and arms and hearts are made for carrying.

"I don't want to be a burden" it's inevitable. It's beautiful.

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

bitch this is all you’re gonna get. this life, this face, this body. you better not ‘maybe in another universe’ your way out of everything. sit your ass down and face this. go make tea and have a picnic and read a goddamn book. kiss your loved ones, send that damn text, and hug your siblings. this is all you’re gonna get.

when kafka said “all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding” and when richard siken said “if you love me, you don’t love me in a way I understand.”

when anaïs nin said “i dont want worship. i want understanding”

When orwell said: “Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.”

“bi women bringing their cis-” bi women can do whatever they want shut up

Murder?

did i stutter?

every day i say things that sound pretentious even to my own ears but i don't how to say them any other way so i just have to hope there's some nugget of truth in there that'll shine through my insufferable delivery