no slurs at my crime scene!

can you take my white ass to funkytown

New idealogy i call it Alcohol Feminism

starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club

Why the fuck are you suggesting putting CHILDREN in a club?

So they can sip grey goose, maybe have a cig, and feel the rhythm? Are you the fun police?

i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy

He piss on my 'tache till I O

(english butler voice) Will you be making an attempt on your life this evening, sir?

any tips for developing discipline? ive been going through life on a lackadaisical hedonist build but ive got a bunch of mysterious problems that i may or may not be at fault for

im going to drink a $7 light beer at the zoo and become the jane goodall of leafcutter ants

Guy who coinflips every morning to see if he should kill himself and inexplicably has gotten “live” each time

they are not “gay little fingerless gloves”. they sre my normal sized fingerless gloves of undisclosed sexuality.

the eyes of someone who just vomited carry a vulnerable acceptance to grief only known in portraits of saints