oh no

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

people will have double-digit opinions on kink discourse and still manage to not know what BDSM stands for

big dick super mario

big dick super mario

SEE HER FABULOUS!!!

There’s an emotion only unlocked when you live in a house with multiple stories. I call it “the stair emotion” and it’s when you realize the object you need is on the other side of yet another trip up and down those goddamn stairs. It’s the closest I get to transcending the desire for material goods. Maybe I don’t need that notebook. Maybe I don’t need anything.

imagine you're some guy and you're going through the woods one day and you stumble upon a house and the people who live there just give you free food and eventually let you inside and it's like nothing you've ever seen before and the people are so nice and loving towards you and then one day they decide to never let you leave again, steal your balls, and give you a stupid fucking hair cut

Update: this tastes like if a baha blast could kill you and annihilates any ongoing anxiety attacks

Update update: comparing this to a long island is like comparing a pickup truck to a tank

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.