hara

remember tumblr in the early 2010s when big blogs would just straight up post their phone numbers and tell people to call them. that was insane

does anyone else feel kind of slutty refilling soap bottles

Developing a sick fixation on the bagel guy I get breakfast from every Friday on my way to work. I have visited his stall thrice and each time he hears my order, shakes his head, and gives me a slightly different version of my order that tastes better than what I'd originally asked for

Today I asked for a plain lox spread bagel and he gave me an everything bagel with a lox, scallion, and dill spread and it fucks so heavy. Moaning at work rn

No i will not tell you who this is or where. This is MY parasocial relationship with a bagel guy who is doing a kind of customer service dom thing to me. You guys don't get to HAVE him [eyes start glowing as I growl]

You ask him out on a date and he hears your request, shakes his head, and takes you on a slightly different version of the date that feels more fulfilling than what you'd originally asked for.

Girl I'm gonna cum wtf I need this

You ask him if you can cum and he-

Trump is dead this and Trump is dead that. The obvious answer for Trump's sudden disappearance is that Trump has gone into his very first heat and the Whitehouse is trying to cover up that he's an Omega

well im fucking the cursed amulet. so mind your business

"isnt that an unhealthy power dynamic" no its a sex thing "arent you and the amulet growing codependent" no its a sex thing "isnt the amulet sucking your life force" no its a sex thing. god forbid people have kinks.

who are the toronto maple leafs

is there anything funnier than somebody who has a tumblr account trying to seem like theyre above fandom

Dragging my bleeding, broken body up to the last computer and hitting post before succumbing to my injuries…