When they start with that “you never open up to me” nonsense but you’ve only known them for 5 years………….
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@happybinow
When they start with that “you never open up to me” nonsense but you’ve only known them for 5 years………….

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no offense but how come bi girls get shit all the time… like when they date boys they’re seen as ‘straight girls lying about their sexuality to get the attention of boys’ and when they date girls they’re ‘lesbians with one foot in the closet’ like why can’t people accept that bisexual girls are… ya know… bisexual…
Reminder: Bi Visibility Day is September 23. Remember to leave cookies out for Freddie.
The problem with suicidal thoughts is that they’re not just there when your sad. You’ll be there, chillin, reading a book or talking to a friend and you’ll think ‘This is nice. But do you know what would be better? Death.’
@lumos-vs-nox This is referred to as “mild suicidal ideation“ or the desire for suicide without substantial action behind it. It often happens when someone deals with prolonged mental health issues and suicidality at a young age. When you’re young, we go through a period where our neural pathways completely rearrange- the things that happen to us at that time will influence these changes. In a way, suicidal ideation becomes an ingrained coping mechanism. A sort of “well at least suicide is always there for me”. Your brain is part-muscle, it remembers things, it learns, it’s super great at adapting, this is just a reflex. It doesn’t mean you are weak, it doesn’t mean you aren’t in recovery.
thank you for posting this, you turned a feeling many people have into words!
this is what healthy people don’t get
this is so important SO IMPORTANT
and i didn’t know this until right now and it like changed my whole outlook on my illness and recovery
[taps you very gently on the shoulder] hello its me ur local gay woman here to tell you that there’s nothing inherently wrong with bi & pan women choosing to use ‘gay’ as a self-descriptor when talking about their attraction to other women! it’s ultimately more harmful and very divisive to police the use of the word gay within the community! (and quite frankly i side eye the people who say that bi & pan girls cant use ‘gay’ when talking about their attraction to women the same way i side eye those who align with ‘gold star’ rhetoric)
I have to disagree with you on this. If you are within the bubble of the community it can seem like, oh, why would this be a problem? But in the real world, bi women identifying as gay leads to men thinking that they will have a chance with actual gay women. I’m not just saying this I have been asked out by guys who seem to now think that “lesbian” means attracted to women, but not Exclusively attracted to women. Straight men will use anything they can to excuse harassing gay women, and bi/pan women identifying as gay isn’t helping. I support bi/pan women, but I wish they would stop contributing to lesbian erasure this way.
“straight men will use anything they can to excuse harassing gay women”
yeah.. exactly. they’re always gonna find a reason to be obnoxious. they know lesbians are exclusively attracted to women everybody knows that they just want an excuse to harass you. also, we’re using the word gay not the word lesbian. people can get a bit more confused with the word gay cuz that can be used to refer to sga in general and not exclusively but like the word lesbian still exists and it still has a very specific definition so just use that ?? and if they’re still being assholes it has nothing to do with bi women cuz ive never once seen a bi girl call themselves a lesbian. in short, stop blaming bi girls for straight men being shitty to you. straight men know what a lesbian is, blame them for being assholes since they’re the ones who are actually hurting you

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“bob’s burgers isn’t that funny”
It’s not tho…
Everyone recommended it to me as funny, but it makes an Autism joke in the first episode.
Sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done, Arthur.
No no no listen to me listen
The first episode of Bob’s Burgers is bad okay?
They use a few insensitive jokes. Bob acts like the neglectful husband. Linda acts like the nagging wife. Etc.
But there’s a reason for that.
They needed to get on TV. They needed to get on FOX. And when the only thing that FOX was showing at the time were horrible Family Guy episodes and new Simpsons episodes, they knew that they would never stand a chance with a progressive heartfelt show. And so, unfortunately, the first episode is very…FOX-esque.
And so FOX signed them on for a season and they changed. It’s actually pretty astounding to see how different Episodes 2,3, 4, etc. are from the first episode. Bob turned into a loving, if not exasperated, husband who would do anything for his wife/kids. Linda turned into a hilarious character who subverts every wife trope. The kids’ personalities all developed. They had very little if any offensive jokes. They tried to be progressive (keyword: tried; they didn’t always succeed but they tried).
And now it genuinely is one of the funniest, progressive, shows on FOX.
Certainly the most heartfelt.
So basically Bob’s Burgers did to FOX what Rebecca Sugar did to Cartoon Network. They made a show that initially seemed like it was going to be just like any other bad show on the network so that the network would sign on. And then they changed it into something amazing.
THIS.
I have never thought about it in this context
that’s actually really, really creepy.
I… fuck.
Yeah, basically.
I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages.
There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.
THE BOLDED
“You can be married and monogamous and still be bi.”
<image is of diagonal blue, purple and pink with the above phrase in lavender block letters>
Lesbians who wouldn’t date bi girls because they’ve been touched by men are gross
a preference is still a preference my dude
A preference based on sexuality is discrimination and in this case biphobia
my dude
refusing to date bi girls just cuz they’re bi will literally never be anything other than explicitly biphobic

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I’m bisexual and I have never, nor will I ever cheat on my partner.
I’m so tired of it being assumed that bisexuality means infidelity.
Don’t assume I’m gay. Don’t assume I’m straight. Bi pride!
Guess which one caused outrage….
honestly i cant control how much i dislike people who are racist or homophobic or transphobic. i used to be polite in my arguments so that whoever i was arguing against would take me seriously but that never got me very far. fuck you for bringing harm to innocent people and then hiding behind “it’s just MY opinion!!” yeah it’s JUST your opinion? well your opinions have death tolls and body counts, shut the fuck up.
I feel like one thing the “queer is a slur” crowd overlooks...
…is that the word gay has been used so overwhelmingly as a pejorative, as a slur, that most children in the U.S. in the past several decades likely grew up learning “gay” as a word for bad, strange, or wrong before they fully understand that there are “gay” people, and that it’s not just a word with negative connotations.
Kids grow up hearing “That’s so gay!” said with such vehemence relating to topics that those same kids aren’t remotely educated about, and they just internalize that it’s bad. This is how you get elementary schoolers saying, “Mr. Hopkins gave us homework, he’s so gay,” and the same elementary schoolers grow up to be high schoolers and adults who say, “What? I don’t mean gay like gay people, I mean gay like stupid or bad.”
And some of them aren’t overt homophobes in any other way… but dang, you teach little kids that a word that describes a class of people means “bad” and “wrong” before they know those people exist, and that’s bound to shape the way they think about things, isn’t it?
And in contrast you get queer kids who start to put 2+2 together about what “gay” really means a little bit faster than the kids around them because they’re desperate for some information, some hints of meaning… but they’re also hearing the same lessons as everybody else, that gay=bad, gay=wrong, gay=undesirable, gay=something no one ones and no one should be, gay is the worst thing you can be.
In the small town I lived in and the school I went to, nobody ever hit me and called me queer. No one ever shouted “queer” from a moving car while I was walking home. No one ever threatened or inflicted violence on me with the word “queer” on their lips.
Gay, though? Yes. And variations on the f-slur, but gay itself was enough of an invective, enough of a pejorative, to the people flinging it.
“Gay” was the slur that cishet people threw at me as a form of violence, often in corollary with physical violence. “Queer” is a word that I learned online, from members of my community. My experience of the former word is as an attack, while the other was as a sanctuary and respite from that attack.
Now, I’m not a gay man, but a bisexual trans woman. I was still sorting that out at the time, but I doubt it would have made a difference to many of my tormenters if I’d been able to explain it properly.
So when “gay” is used as the happy-go-lucky umbrella for what I would personally call the queer community, gay with even its positive connotations strongly coded as male, I’m not just being misgendered/swept under a default label of male along with a lot of other women and non-binary folks, I’m being forced to accept a label that I never sought, one that is definitely used as a pejorative and a slur, and a slur that was specifically used as a weapon against me.
Both “gay” and “queer” have the same problematic histories and problematic presents. They have both been subject to reclamation efforts. To me, the difference is how those efforts are organized.
“Gay” is an attempt to normalize, to assimilate, to take the elements of our community that are most palatable to the heteronormative homogeneous hegemony and emphasize them, making those elements even more palatable and altering or hiding the other elements of the community.
“Gay” is like trying to get into an exclusive school that you fear is likely to reject you for prejudiced reasons, so you keep your nose clean, make sure you take all the right extracurriculars, polish your cover letter and personal essay, and try to make the right contacts with influential people on the inside… and if you have to hide some of your past activities, break ties with friends who are less presentable, and de-emphasize your family to make sure the admissions office doesn’t get the wrong idea about what you’d bring to their institution, well, it’ll be worth it, because that’s what you have to do get a, you know, fair shake.
“Queer” rejects that. Queer rejects homogeny, it does not demand that we sand down our rough edges or smooth out our contours. It does not seek to reshape ourselves or our community to fit ever-evolving standards designed to keep us out, but it challenges those standards.
If “gay” is trying to appeal to a bigoted admissions board by being smooth and shiny enough to slip in, “queer” is challenging the admissions board to accept or reject you on your own merits as you exist, and challenging the bigoted assumptions that underline the power structure as revealed by this. It’s bypassing the admissions board by creating your own infrastructure for sharing resources and information.
I have a suspicion that a certain percentage of the intra-community backlash against the word “queer” is not because the negative connotations of the word hurt us as listeners, but rather that the radical connotations of the word hurt the effort to make assimilate gayness into heteronormativity.
I.e., it is less, “Queer makes people think it’s okay to bash us.” and more “Queer makes people think we’re not like them.”
Most people end posts in defense of the label “queer” and the umbrella term “queer community” by saying “I won’t call queer if they’re not comfortable with it,” and most of them get told, “BUT THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE DOING WHEN YOU SAY ‘QUEER COMMUNITY!”
I’ve never yet seen anybody talking about the gay community have to disclaim that they’re not using the word to people who view it as unreclaimed slur or who just plain find it too hurtful to have even given that discourse any thought.
I won’t call someone queer if they don’t think of themselves a queer. I will use queer as an umbrella term. If that’s not you, you can cheerfully include yourself out of it.
And heck, I’m doing you a solid. If you didn’t have a queer community to point to, you wouldn’t have anyone you could point to when you want to clarify that you’re not like those people.
If you’re bi/pan/aro/ace, anything other than black-or-white, capital G gay, you don’t have a word that doesn’t throw “sexual” right into the mix. And once you say “I’m bisexual, I’m pansexual, I’m asexual,” people seize on “sex” and think your sexuality is now public property and they’re allowed to fetishize at will or ask intrusive questions. Obviously this happens to gay men and lesbians, but they have “gay” and “lesbian” as descriptors without the “-sexual” in them. For those of us who don’t, I feel like queer can be a bit of a shield. If I say, “I’m queer,” instead of, “I’m bisexual,” I don’t get the waggled eyebrows and request to consider a threesome. In my experience, queer is somehow odd and confrontational enough that it turns off the “let’s ask sexy details” switch in straight peoples’ minds.
@jennytrout that’s fucking brilliantly put, thank you <3
THIS about the “gay as an insult” for this generation. That’s what I grew up on, kids at school sneering “that’s so gay” over and over again. “Queer” was a word I found online, and in history books about “queer literature” and “queer film history” and such. I think the first time I heard someone say it out loud was in college, at the LGBTQ club.

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wlw & hats
“How else am i suppose to find my people becky” 😂😂😂
IM SCREAMING
one thing abt those “rethink homelessness” ads theyre always showing white people holding up signs like “i had a business/i was a dentist/i had a scholarship/i went to harvard”
like thats great.. good for them. but what about the homeless people who never “achieved” anything?
what about the homeless people who came from broken homes, got pregnant at 15, dropped out of high school, got addicted to drugs, never went to college, worked at mcdonalds since they were teenagers
“rethink homelessness” wants to show you the homeless people who were “worth something”. the “good” homeless people so you can look at them and think “oh look i guess all homeless people arent worthless bums after all! i should start caring about some of them!!”
those “rethink homelessness” ads seem to only promote homeless people who “made something of themselves” but then life took a tragic turn for them. as if theyre the only kind of homeless people who deserve empathy and respect
protect and respect ALL homeless people. even the ones who never got even a little close to being “successful”. even the “bad ones” who are the stereotypical homeless people
just because a person never “made something of themselves” doesnt mean theyre beneath you
“rethinking homelessless”?? more like subtle classism imo
its the old, typical “deserving poor” vs “undeserving poor” nonsense