every once in a while I remember that hannibal lecter would show up at crimes he committed and be like “girl WHO did that???”

i dont want to be an adult i want to go to the shiny secondhand trinkets store and spend seven hundred dollars

The older this gets the funnier it is

i love games that encourages multiple playtroughs where u can make different decisions and i just make the same goody two shoes choices all over again excpet i romance a diffeent person. im so good at this

“i love exploring different branching narrative paths” i say, as i pick the same choices all over again

I'll admit that this one has cemented itself in my psyche

@horrorshowgirl

Every day the idea of just fucking off to go live in the woods becomes more and more appealing

Btw this isnt in a “uwu i want a cottage in the woods/homestead” sanitized living in nature way i mean i wanna be a feral little freakish man living in the woods

I don't make love. I don't fuck. I serve my pussy like Chili's fajitas: loud, sizzling. I want everyone in the restaurant to stare at us and think, "Damn, I should have ordered the pussy."

hate shopkeeps in skyrim that follow you around like they don’t trust you. leave me OLONE dude i’m trying to steal from you

can’t believe it took me this long to realize that the reason ppl like me is because of my fat juicy ass

im not wastin anybodys time cause thats my time too

friendly but not your friend