( HIATUS. )

i’ve had riku for nine long years. i’ve had him since he was so small that he could barely walk and his head bobbled as he walked. he’s back to that stage nine years later. i’m not gonna sit here and make this post huge, all of the details are on the page. but i just want to say there’s absolutely no word in any language that could surmise how much he means to me. he’s not just a pet, he’s my baby. i know it’s dramatic to say, “oh, i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him,” but it’s true. i wouldn’t be. he’s been my beacon of light through the darkest times of my life.

i never thought i’d be one of those people who’d post one of these, i honestly never did. as some of you might know, i had a major surgery back in january and those bills are still haunting me. part-time at minimum wage doesn’t get you through much. while yes, there are times i do have money to go out and go to cons and have fun with my friends, there are times when i have almost nothing in my bank account because my medical bills destroyed what money i had saved up. this is one of those times.

i’ve always known i want to cremate him. i don’t want to bury him in the house i live in—my grandmother’s house. it’s not MY house. i don’t want to bury him somewhere that after a few years, i won’t live there anymore. i’ve told him so many over the past few days that i can’t do it without him. i don’t know how i will—he’s been what gets me through everything. but to have him with me, it’ll help. 

                                                 these bones were made to endure,                                                  calcium structures not easily bent.                                                  you can try to break me                                                  but i have withstood hurricanes                                                  stronger than your hands.                                                  the heart is a muscle for a reason                                                  and mine is not weak, it will not fail.

ISOLATEDFLESH

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