Perhaps I Could Have Been Free!

im extremely devout but nobody can figure out what im worshipping

WHO tf keeping pads with no wings in production?? Put it in your draws and by the time you walk out the bathroom it’s down the street buying scratch offs at the corner store. Like girl

one of my favorite genres of post is "evocative imagery"

let's face it. masturbating is very boring; it fails to say anything of interest and even then, it is stylistically void

people are witnessing the naked face of the great beast Leviathan lately and they're just not loving the horrific visage

me around my coworkers: the monkey's hand would pass easily through the mouth of the jar if he simply let go of the cookie. me when i'm by myself: there has to be a way. has to.

Suddenly just remembered this one time I played Sonic Generations at a Christian kid's house and he said "dude he's faster than God"

Bro being coworkers with larry curly and moe & you offer to carpool to work cause they live close and you drop them off, work, drop them off at home and when you see your back seat its a fucking crater theres banana peels everywhere and whip cream and two of them were playing tic tac toe on the back of the passenger seats headrest in sharpie

just learned that when they bury racehorses its only the head heart and hooves which feels somewhat worse to me than not designating any grave at all to a half-ton animal that died in the name of running fast for gambling purposes and was named some shit like Popcorn Deelites

god I just. love ruthlessness as a character trait so much. sexy sexy sexy