Spinel did not have to flex that hard

I have the biggest dick in 40 square miles

39

38

37

you only get this achievement if you were here and posting the entire time

yeah babe you look like a vampire yes you look undead i promise love can we go now

honestly i’ve stopped caring if media is good. all that matters is that Me, The Most Important Person, is having a good time.

RIP to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris but im different. and better. maybe even better than the gods

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant “two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’” “got it. check my dashboard” “that skeleton gif you like is back again” he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

this is what i imagine david karp does with his time considering that tumblr hasn’t been improved for about three odd years

Imagine being the English teacher in new moon calling Edward out for not paying attention, probably just trying to stop his two weirdest students from canoodling during the movie and then this guy just starts. Reciting Shakespeare from memory? I would quit my job. That would be too much for me.

Treat spiders the way you want to be treated

Killed without hesitation

Do yourself a favor and start viewing social media as as reality TV. It’s all scripted, planned, and edited. Also there’s a high chance all those nice things you’re seeing are just props they don’t actually own.

MOUSE ARMOUR

mouse anemone

Mouse condo, previously owned by Venus Williams, desirable neighborhood, available immediately.

That's so cute 😭😭

cinematic parallels: tumblr somehow becoming one of the most bearable social media platforms in 2020/2021, and that speed skater who made it to the olympics because everyone else fell over

damn wtf happened in frozen 2