Buy the ticket, Take the ride

in skyrim i married a homeless man and even though we are married and he lives in my huge fuckin house he still wears rags and asks me to give him 1 gold whenever i see him

just another tuesday on r/relationships

i think the kurt cobain murder conspiracy can be super easily debunked if you just take into account that courtney love definitely does not have enough restraint to keep that a secret for 26 years

econ majors like girl help GameStop is in retrograde

I’ll make a copy for you.

I’ll scan it in for you.

It is a shame that nobody says things like this anymore

confession: when i was in high school my best friend used to steal a ton of clothes from the busted-ass target in town and then walk across the street and sell them at plato’s closet and she called it her job. i’d be like “where are you?” and she’d be like “at work” and i’d know she was just robbing a target blind lmao 

when i was in therapy i once expressed to my therapist that i really struggle with having pretty much zero idea of who i am as a person + she whipped out a piece of paper and suggested that we write down different aspects of myself. and i had no idea what to say bc ‘myself’ is a concept i’m not very familiar with so she started saying about my interests and how that’s part of me + i was like okay!! that makes sense!! so she clicked her pen and was like “you said you like video games before” and i was like sure bud :) and watched her write down, in capital letters ‘GAMER’ and i’ve never had so much terror struck into my h

Better than when I first started going to my current therapist and I was showing him my art and he just quietly said "furry" to himself as he was paging through

The mortifying ordeal of getting therapy.

i hate songs that are like 75% bad but the chorus is so good that you suffer through the whole song just to hear one part like three times

i forgot how fucking weird november is theres no afternoon its just night after 2pm

when it rains you simply do not get a day

Luigi, blue lives dont madda.

girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure

died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me

Vincent Van Goku