biblically accurate rodrick heffley

we need to have a conversation about how the "everyone is 12" theory of politics now doesn't only apply to conservative men who want to kick the bad guys' asses and then go home and eat a steak their bangmommy made just for them (NO VEGGIES!!!) but also to adult women who are literally afraid of other people having sex and being sexy. it's like there's been this massive regression among women in their 20s where we've gotten rid of feminism and replaced it with a new form of purity politics that requires never saying anything bad about another women unless you find a new and creative way to call her a whore. the misuse of "she caters to the male gaze" as a new form of enlightened slut shaming, labeling any woman who wears a short skirt or has sex with a man as "not a girls' girl" and "a pick me," the intense overreaction to celebrity affairs or even just shit like the summer house mess where a woman is now dating another woman's ex even though there was no overlap and the "relationship" was just kind of a situationship that fizzled but now these little girls are online demanding both people involved in the new relationship lose their jobs and not get any brand deals, the panic over mildly sexual content in literally any capacity like ads or an instagram post in a crop top, the compulsion to link everything back to the epstein files, the monthly meltdown over sex scenes on tv and in movies. everyone is 12 and AFRAID of sabrina carpenter.

and yeah i don't think it's a mistake that there are basically two ages a woman can be, which is a literal child whose brain isn't developed yet so nothing she does is ever her fault bc she is constantly in some state of being groomed by malevolent ((forces)) so she needs to be told what to do by an authority figure who knows better, or a disgusting monstrous crone (over 30) who wasted her fertile years being a girlboss so she should just pack up her dusty vagina and move into a home bc nobody will ever want her again and it's embarrassing for her to still be out there enjoying her life. it's just pathetic that so many women who consider themselves progressive and even feminist have internalized this dichotomy which is indistinguishable from the way right-wing men view them

fingering his plot hole

this site is so easy

hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

I like to fuck around and waste time for at least ~6-10 hours per day, and let me tell you, that really puts some pressure on your schedule. you have no idea how busy I am

margaret qualley divorcing jack antonoff is going to be so chic when it happens

Somehow being a person does not come naturally to me

hello pervert with excellent music taste