If there is trouble, i shall find it!

i still find it so genuinely Weird when i think about the fact that fat people irl are a rather common occurrence. your family, your friends, your coworkers, people on the bus, random passerbys - there are fat people there. usually often. but when you look at Any form of media - movies, tv shows, video games, books are more complicated as not a visual medium but there too, fat people are almost nonexistent. one fat person for the whole movie. one fat person in the background of your fictional city. this is so insanely unrealistic but at the same time nobody comments on this and "we" accept it as normal!! and then people even think their own fatness makes them into some rare failure instead of one of the incredibly common body situations. crazy

it is both normal and healthy to have protective maternal feelings towards tiny bottles of condiments

Ok so the thing about reading like books which are “predictable” is that I, a story enjoyer, go completely bonkers about it bc its like Enrichment in my Enclosure. A scene parallels another earlier scene between different characters thus serving to highlight the differences in their views and priorities???? A line makes me think “hmmm I bet that’s gonna be relevant later” ends up being relevant later????? I am a tiger chewing ice cubes out of a pumpkin. I’m so so happy. Please foreshadow more things. Throw the completely anticipateable plot beats at me like catnip mousies!!!!!

When I see a rifle on the wall, I want to see that rifle being fired! I’m literally on the sidelines shouting “Chekov! The gun! Get the gun, Chekov!”

hold on let me google something

what the fuck

answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation

Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K

This reads like a bit from a British sketch comedy.

You know that study that’s like “for years we thought bats must have great sonar because they never run into each other, then we got highspeed cameras and realized they actually crash into each other all the time” whenever I walk into a doorframe or a wall there’s a alien nature documentary guy in my head saying “we thought humans must have incredible balance due to their ability to be precise on 2 legs, but turns out they run into shit all the time”

#alien funny humans cam of a dude stubbing his toe rated ‘NOT CUTE’#‘although this human may look excited he is actually hopping up and down to keep weight off his injured foot.’#(alien zoologist chimes in to say toe injuries are the equivalent of getting a tentacle caught in a door and the human is fine)#(‘its a little alarming when they grab an injured body part and yell like that but actually it’s just a self-soothing behavior!’)#(‘this big guy will be fine in two klexkons. he just needs to be dramatic about it first! uwu’)#(*intense alien internet discourse ensues*) via hello-lo-lo-looo