A vibrator that makes me cum the second I insert it every time. That way I would cum as it came out. Then I would wish for 5,000 dollars in solid gold spheres small enough to not hurt but big enough to feel good coming out each slightly bigger than the one before and ending in whatever the biggest I can handle after extensive stretching is & then since I’ll be loose enough to do it an IPhone5S that is futureproof and can update to whatever iOS comes out even if nonmagical ones stop at say iOS 20 mine can go to 30 and beyond and always have internet access and have 100% battery life without a charger port and be 100% water proof and indestructible even if you set it on 🔥 or microwave it or run it through a washing machine or anything and no headphone jack because I would also shit out a pair of indestructible Bluetooth earbuds that can go as loud as I want but also be 100% private and noise canceling and can sync to any device even if it doesn’t have Bluetooth by me touching it and thinking it.

I just realized this is actually Eminem and not a guy making fun of him

bald guy swag

bald guy swag is literally unmatchable