haegtes

Afterlife waiting at the station.

i. spinner’s end → silk → silk moth.

ii. a moth isn’t a butterfly. butterflies have that whole display of beauty: lightness, approval, “look how pretty.” moths are something else entirely >> they are night, silence. they’re not about aesthetic admiration, they’re about that vague unease in the middle of the night when this THING just sits somewhere in your room

iii. if you think specifically about a silkworm, it becomes.. // a bit harsher // it’s not just a creature that just exists on its own. it was bred, constructed for a function. its value lies in what it produces, not in what it is. and that almost painfully mirrors how severus’s life unfolds. he doesn’t just become important >> he’s made useful. first by voldemort, then by dumbledore, and at some point he’s not quite a person in the usual sense anymore, but more of an instrument held together by being needed by both sides at once

iv. cocoon is usually read as a nice metaphor for transformation. but here it’s not about ugly caterpillar → pretty butterfly ... but rather about isolation, compression, about being sealed wraped in your mistakes until you come out as something else. not better or beautiful ... just... different, more adapted for survival. [ + being able to fly :) ]

v. the whole “unattractive child transformation” narrative still kind of works here, but not as a glow-up.... silkworm moths don’t become objects of admiration <though they are cute af> they’re pale, almost ghostlike, fragile-looking, and there’s something in them that is just… unsettling. and that’s very similar to how severus is perceived: not striking or charismatic in the usual sense, but once you look closer ... he becomes appealing

vi. it would be the small emperor moth because they’re native to the uk, and they’re more darker grey than ordinary silkworm moths… but… the pun with “small emperor” and “prince” was intended

vii. emperor silk moths have those “eye spots” on the wings. they’re evolutionary adaptation built for deception. they are about distorting perception. about being seen incorrectly so preditor hesitates, draws the wrong conclusion. that’s literally his way of survival. half his life is a conscious agreement to be misunderstood

viii. visually. those pale, dusty wings with their soft span ~~ and his robes, which in motion have that same fluidity, almost ghost/dementor like quality.

Fanfic is more popular than ever, which means there are more works "competing" for the readers' attention, who take on a passive approach that treats fanworks not as a means to talk to people with similar interests, but as content, as products. [...] Gift cultures thrive not on monetary exchanges, but on the expectation that the gifts freely given will be returned in an unspecified future through emotional and relational means. This used to set fandom apart, but it's slowly being absorbed into the mainstream way capitalism operates. Where does that leave us?

And it's demotivating to see the responses authors get when expressing their grievances with this state of affairs, or how they feel underappreciated. Being called entitled, told to write for themselves, or to promote their work as if writing and posting isn't enough. I write for myself, I post for the community. There are things I want to say about the source material and characters, and I do through storytelling. And I'm grateful about each of the comments I got, no matter how short. It's just that it doesn't feel like there's a community out there when no one talks back. Writers aren't just expected to write, but to do it for the "right reasons", and to also be as pleasant about it as possible, lest they'll be criticized by more people than the amount that's offering them support.

I've seen posts going around on tumblr that have approached this topic as well--that fanworks (particularly fanfic) should be created from the perspective of a perfect vessel that can pour, pour, pour out and never needs to be poured into. You should do it for the "right reasons" and not complain because "no one owes you interaction". But what is fandom if not interaction?

Writing fanfic is one of the most time-consuming labors of love that makes up a fandom. (That's not to say other fanworks aren't labors, time-consuming, or made with love. We're talking about fanfic). Your 300k+ enemies to lovers slowburn porn-with-plot fic that has reshaped the entire way you approach a specific pairing or media has been made with time, effort, for free, with the intention to be shared with you.

And in the state of current fandom, it has been made with the expectation to receive nothing back. Is that fair? Maybe. Silent readers exist and a kudos on Ao3 is at least an acknowledgment that some people read and enjoyed. But does it hurt to leave a comment? Even a heart emoji or an "I loved this, thank you for sharing!" is enough to at least start a dialogue, a conversation, form a connection.

That's not even to mention the isolation of fandom interactions to private Discords; time after time I've heard from fanfic authors who found out that there have been discord servers or twitter groupchats where their fanfic has been discussed, loved, and lauded at length--but never once was the author told this! Ao3 has comments for a reason. Many authors link their tumblr profiles or emails in their bio for people to reach out to them.