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Snape would love the haters here

The Servant

Again

Day 27- The moment I realised I liked Snape

My love for Severus did not start with the movies: the books and the fandom are to blame for it. Tbh my favourite HP character was initially Sirius. Great potential: romantic, tragic, misunderstood, powerful, smart, often childish, loyal and flawed (seeing the pattern already?). Still, Snape had caught my attention since his first appearance because, you know, all that Slytherin charisma, charming personality, shameless sarcasm and delightful unfairness.

Probably, I realised Snape was my true hero when he says in OotP:

“Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord! Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily – weak people, in other words – they stand no chance against his powers!“

He sounded suddenly too vehement about it and my immediate thought was that he was speaking about himself. It meant that Snape’s real persona was emotionally too vulnerable, had something very sad happened to him, and was easily provoked- which supposed he was fundamentally insecure, felt hurt, had often been physically or emotionally abused in the past and stayed angry with himself and everybody. Easy prey for the Dark Lord. So, he had to build a solid armor to protect and hide his true self. He had to wear a mask, take up arms, erect walls and fight to defend himself, and now here he was, believing that displaying vulnerability and emotions is weakness.

Snape is wrong, mostly. Sure, his cover is strong, and Voldemort cannot reach his mind; and no one sees the ‘’weakness’’ (i.e. his ability to love and feel emotions) behind the mask, except for Dumbledore. But for this reason, by abnegation and because he cannot let himself be “exposed”, i.e. unprotected again, Snape sacrifices his whole life. Not when he dies, but when he receives no love and no recognition. Even, he has to kill the only one person who knows his other self, and he has to accept that Lily’s son would die. As if it was not enough, he also has to tell Harry the whole truth of Dumbledore’s greater good and of his own story. I’d say Snape lived not in vain, but only for the sake of others. No wonder he goes wild when he is called coward.  

And at some point I started reading Snacks on line. People who ship the characters know how to convey their passion: this is why the books and the fandom are to blame for my obsession with Snape. 

Greasy Black Hair by Snapesforte

Paying tribute to the Snape artist whose art made me draw.  Unhappy with the Deathly Hallows, she left the fandom ten years ago, just when I started posting my own first Snapes.

My point is : sometimes in your fandom, you know about an artist / writer / person, and they are for you not just another big or bigger name but your actual spiritual master or model, and you even don’t dare to tell/reach/thank them. They would never know, but they do have real influence in your life. They would not know about you, but their contribution in the fandom means so much – filling you with happiness and gratitude, with the renewed desire to share something again and again, all the love for your favourite characters, all your time and efforts, your mutual passion in the same dreams.

“I will,” said Snape. 

Day 24 : Favourite moment ? Unsurprisingly, I could not pick just one. I came to a decision and miserably selected a crucial scene, rather than a “moment”. Could also have been my fav’chapter, if The Prince’s Tale or The Flight of the Prince have never been written.  Also, I considered that great line when Harry refers to Snape’s bravery in the epilogue. But you know, it would have been a favourite Harry moment (btw I am all for Harry Appreciation Months ^^).

So, coming back to Snape.  The scene when he kills Dumbledore and blasts him off of the lightning-struck tower after hearing the old man’s pleading words is utterly striking. Snape becomes a murderer, and the murderer of the only living soul who knew how much for all these years he has been feeling guilty and amending for Lily’s death.