𝓙.

weary eyed, beyond exhausted, running on fumes. grasping at anything as an attempt to fill the void within. a piece of you is missing; here one second - gone the next. with no way to get it back.

I see you on the days you can't bring yourself to get out of bed. I promise darling, if it gets you through the day; it counts for something.

you eat less, talk less. finding yourself living in your head every day. you're there, but not really there. having no interest in things you used to love, never picking up your phone or answering texts. just wanting to curl up and not have to be needed. salt stained pillows. dark circles around your eyes, not remembering the last time you hadn't cried yourself to sleep.

you've stopped caring about everything, even caring for yourself. I get it; I do.

be gentle with yourself. the world doesn't stop for anyone, but yours has come to a halt. there's nothing wrong with putting it on pause to truly feel.

to feel, is to embrace your emotions. it's human nature, it's part of the human experience. no matter what they may be. let them flow through you, but don't let them make a home within you. you can't rush healing. take as much time as you need to get back on your feet.

and when you're ready; kick life back. better yet - curb stomp her ass. stand tall. carry yourself elegantly. because it's crucial that you remember, that through all the bad in life, there is equally as much good.

life will forever knock you down, and you'll experience great heartache and pain. but you'll always find your way back to the good things in life. the beautiful things in life. the kinds of things that are worth living for.

good and bad can coexist. in fact; they have to. you cannot have one without the other.

so take care. for every bad day, there are even more days ahead that will be so. much. better. it doesn't matter how long it takes you to come back. just remember that during those darker times; there are beautiful, memorable, days ahead. just waiting for you to meet them where they're at. life is a bitch. but you can make her yours if you play your cards right.

I drifted off, leaving the flame to bleed alone in the dark.

if I happen to catch fire,

let me burn.

i've never felt so much pain; burning alive from the inside out. an invisible hand hollowed out my chest. a cavernous silence now echoes where love once lived.

each breath feels heavy, a phantom weight in the dark. the walls of my chest hold only the ghost of your name. I am left to navigate this sudden foreign desert, with no map to guide me.

I try to scream, but the void swallows the sound. memory becomes a knife I relentlessly sharpen. I wrap my arms around the space you used to fill. trying like hell to breathe in a house that's burnt to ashes, as I sit and let it consume me.

I no longer recognize the reflection of my thoughts. the boundary between myself and the void has dissolved. I am a question mark left hanging in the dark.

part of me crossed over into the quiet with you.

the gravity of my inner world has completely collapsed, leaving me to drown in a sea of unspent tomorrows. 

I wander the ruins of a language only we spoke, haunted entirely by the geometric shape of your absence, where your memory is a shadow that outshines the sun.

how do I, as a ghost, learn to carry my own bones?

there is no map for this wilderness. so I sit in the ashes of the house we built.

I do not cope; I simply expand to fill the void.