The Ramblings of a Grumpy Young Man

The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.

Oh, no, my friend, @aceyuurikatsuki . It’s not just that. It is so much more. Settle down and let your friendly neighborhood x-ray tech explain you a thing.

Throckmorton’s Sign, otherwise known as Throckmorton’s Principle, does in fact have to do with dicks. Because it is fairly normal for a dick to show up on a hip or pelvis x-ray. But the thing about Throckmorton’s Sign is, it’s not just that the dick is visible. It is a legitimate diagnostic tool.

Let me explain: let’s say a person equipped with a penis is in a car accident and has right leg and right side hip/pelvic pain. Their doctor will order x-rays. Unfortunately, sometimes fractures are so small that they can be missed, or, because the patient is in such bad shape and the images obtained aren’t the best quality, the radiologist can’t be sure for one reason or another if what they’re seeing is actually a fracture.

So what do they do? They look for the dick.

You heard me correctly. The dick.

Throckmorton’s Sign is when “the penis points to the area of pain.” So if the above-mentioned AMAB patient’s xray aren’t displaying a clear, obvious fracture, but their dick is pointing to the right side, 9 times out of 10, the injury or fracture is on the right hip or leg area, so then the radiologist will focus on that side while reading.

Now I know what my non-radiology followers are thinking. “Ace, this sounds like bullshit. This can’t be true. You’re lying through your teeth.” But I swear to you, it is 100% accurate. I have seen a positive Throckmorton’s Sign multiple times with my own eyes over the course of the past 7 years. Ask any x-ray tech, and they will probably agree with me.

Your dick is good for at least one thing, and that thing is helping a radiologist diagnose your upper femur, hip, or pelvic fracture.

Brave Soldier Boy…