Grumpbees🐝

Usually id come on here and update this for myself on what's happening in my life but I honestly just wanted to get some shit off my chest this time hopefully it'll help when I come back to it....or anyone else reading this.

My dog died 2 days ago and I'm way more heart broken than I realized I would be. I knew I would be super sad but I didn't know to what extent I would feel like. I miss her so much. I'm all alone now. Part of me wishes I got another dog before she died so I wouldn't be alone but part of me is really glad I didn't because she got all of my attention in the end. Obviously it's too soon for me to get another dog but I do want one before Christmas this year (2k26).

I'm not ready to move and pack up all her things yet. Even if they still make me cry to see.

I put her collar and her little pearl necklace around her one and only toy she ever owned and cuddled up too until the very end. I sit the toy beside me when I play her favourite Legend of Zelda game (echoes of wisdom) I played it a bunch for her 2 days before she passed. And I'm still playing it now just in case she's hanging around for a bit. I'll probably play it for a little while longer.

I take her body in Saturday to be cremated. I think I'll feel much better once I'm able to hold her again even if it's in an urn.

I know I have friends and family to support me during this time but it's not the same as having my partner in crime with me. Dogs really are a man's best friend.

I guess that's all I have to say for now.....I'm gonna try to post more on here to get shit off my chest and maybe help feel better.

Fine

But the one that defines my current situation is :

*denoting or displaying a state of good, though not excellent*

I think a lot about this. Things were better than Fine once... They used to be great.

I would like to say that I don’t know what happened....

But I do

And I know that you will never see this ever, But in the slight chance that you do or if this comes across as a screenshot on Facebook or Instagram.......

I’m sorry Baboo and I love you I promise that things really will change; and if they don’t I’ll be gone before you even say a word.

To anyone else that sees this:

Things Will Get Better Eventually.

Stay Focused.

YOU MATTER!!!

Someone loves you.

One day things will be better than just Fine.

Today I gave a butterfly a safe place to pass on

I finally got to eat a super cold Reese peanut buttercup after craving it all last week

I took my Dog out for a car ride

I did laundry for the first time in my new apartment building

I bought my cats a new cat tree

I took a nap in the sun

And I get to enjoy the sunset from a 6th floor view

I probably won’t ever see you again

I’m going to miss you terribly

I wish you wanted to see me before I go

I understand it’s probably too painful though

I’m sorry we couldn’t be together

You will always hold a special place in my heart darling, and I know you’ll never see this, but may you find the happiness you deserve.

Me a piece of shit:

And now that I have

I can’t afford it

And if I am; would I really want to go back ?

Is that other life any better than the one i have now ?

and you're to blame

yu gi oh