its because you always on that damn mortar and pestle

playing around w. microsoft office as a child was crazy. it felt transgressive. magical. a portal into the beautiful world of business. i imagined myself one day becoming proficient with every menu in excel and word and powerpoint, expertly choosing between them in a manner similar to a samurai deciding on whether to use the wakizashi or the katana. like stepping into the tabernacle without genuflecting. the sensual mystique of the coffee room. an entire imaginary world of grey-blue carpeted hallways and black plastic caster wheels on chairs. the bright ideas of the future, all springing to life as i am assisted by a paperclip shaped homunculus. slayer of demons of profit loss. the holy armor of the suit and tie. the will of god channeled through commerce. kneeling to the invisible hand, and transcribing its will into an infinite scroll of beautiful white pages.