minding my place

🐑📔🔍

archive mb for @frangiponi 🌅

i wanna talk about avoidance and awe; i wanna talk about living behind a gate of knowing distance, staying the funniest motherfucker in the room or leaving the fucking room, and the particular tensity it fixes in the set of your eyebrows. holding yourself like a predator who anticipates, though not one who's trying that hard.

the easy way to invert avoidance is possessiveness: i don't have to keep myself apart because this rare thing is mine; dibs; other people want it, and that must be so hard for them. this is the way that lets you keep your face on.

the worse way to invert avoidance is when something you love or will love catches in a particular light: for a moment you're outside yourself, in awe, and then in awe of your unimaginable luck; it humbles you. this is the moment the tether that keeps your face closed slithers loose. if this happens enough you start getting to choose whether to re-tie it.

jamie drysdale: does anyone else keep hearing that

trevor zegras: can you get me pregnant

yeah you could say ilya knows how to woo a guy.