bear’s blog

“i heart ‘mones”

“will suck strap”

“i heart frotting”

(on the most cropped tee you’ve ever seen, for those with double incision) “shark attack survivor” or “hibachi incident” or “you should see the other guy”

just bullshit i find funny

can’t stop thinking about this couple i saw today consisting of this ridiculously roided out but perfectly primped dude and his filler queen of a wife

i got married at twenty one with reactions being more innocently questionary than negative - how could i be sure?

it’s always been very simple to me, i’ve never been made to feel like a cylinder in a square whole

i come from being hidden, the partner your parents couldn’t know about, the boyfriend who can’t come to thanksgiving due to being black or trans or poor, the guy no one’s folks were keen on

i moved across the ocean to be with my wife, welcomed by non-english speaking family waiting just as eagerly as my lover

it’s strange to find solace and understanding in a place so foreign, a place you wouldn’t otherwise choose to be, with people you never would’ve met

my identity has never been treated as something to forcefully gulp and stomach

for so long i was convinced i wanted too much - but my wife excitedly coming home with cocoa butter body oil, something we’ve struggled to find in southern france, and using an eyebrow razor to fix my lineup when the barber does me dirty, was all i ever needed

to be cared for like it’s second nature

all i know is i’m exhausted from the facade of coolness and nonchalance on every platform, the push to overshare in some calculatedly relatable way to be the next big influencer

i want something intimate, something for me

something for my community to find me on and curate the space tiktok, twitter and instagram couldn’t give me