welcum to my twisted mind

Your father use to roleplay as a tape worm for my pleqsure

hope he did a good job at least. Didn't embarrass the whole family.

He strutted his shit kinda

i love the youtube poop "pingas" line because the joke is meant to be that it sounds like hes saying penis except it straight up doesnt. innuendo defeated. now its our special word we share together.

it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon

Dogs do not show pain. There are dead in nature if they show it. One way to know if your dog is suffering. Muscels in his back are strained and his biting his teeth

actually if you look into its eyes you’ll see that my dog loves existing. it isn’t biting its teeth, it’s saying “Thank you Creator” and “Creator, I could take more. Go further.” the reason I know this is because I understand dog medicine better than you. but that’s not a reason to be embarrassed.

i want lists and solutions by the time i finish this jiyuiceh box. warning ⚠️ I. AM. TIRSTY! and it is ᶠʳᵘᶦᵗ punch! and it is delicious

There was a girl on neopets a few years back who had a pet tick. She'd post pics of it in polly pocket playsets. I gotta find it again it sounds too fake

I never get tired of this video. The comedic density is off the fucking charts.

I think the funniest thing Toby Fox could do is not have Papyrus show up in Deltarune at all and then in the post credits after you you beat the game you'd see a message appear that says "you can now play with Papyrus" and then he'd be retroactively inserted into every single chapter like some kind of new game+

YOU PEOPLE ARE INSANE

Went to a fabric store yesterday and saw a sewing machine that did embroidery of photos and the example was of a newborn baby and it was so fucking insane looking I asked an employee if I could buy it and she looked at it and was like “oh my god eugh what the fuck… i think that’s my bosses grandkid….I think you should just take it” so I did