welcum to my twisted mind

I like to fuck around and waste time for at least ~6-10 hours per day, and let me tell you, that really puts some pressure on your schedule. you have no idea how busy I am

anyone have that picture with the 100 pool toy baltos. Its like a modern terracotta army

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

no, mother... you should have read my supposed "school field trip" permission slip closer.... i foresaw your betrayal a mile away.... im afraid, mother, it is you who has been sold to one direction

im so hungry i could eat a dinner

I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier

I love that man with all of my heart

i hope this guy got that kiss

(talking to a crowd of people large enough to fill a very big sports stadium) hi everybody. sunbeam on my p(crowd erupts into thunderous applause startling me so bad that I run into a wall and die)

your penis is died. game oval

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

i love how OP is wailing over being set on fire but manages to remember to close the door behind him when he leaves the house.