dumb for halloween

I swear I didn't want to write these words out of shame and embarrassment, but what happened to us in the Gaza Strip—the destruction, the genocide, the starvation of the people—is beyond imagination. My older brother, who was our provider, was killed by a treacherous bullet to the head. He was our only support, the one who provided us with food, and now we go to bed hungry, ravaged by the hunger that has consumed our bodies.

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

the bus is never going to come because im a bad person

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

what's that? gen z is trying to make me jerk off and moan like a girl?

It’s always “there is still time” and never “the longer you wait, the closer you get to suffocating” or “I know it’s scary, that’s part of it”

I identify the most with the woman who has a green velvet ribbon around her neck and keeps being like "DONT untie my neck ribbon or something really bad will happen" and then her husband unties the ribbon and her head falls off. this is extremely real to me. spent my whole life like "please don't do this thing to me or really bad stuff will happen" and everyone around me being like "that sounds fake" and doing it anyway. and then my head fell off!

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil