Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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macklin celebrini has autism

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@grim-lupine
Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

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the Cc in emails stands for Cuck chair
royjamiekeeley | in the middle
song: in the middle by dodie
watch it on youtube
the fuckboy you all talking about….. this is his sexual fantasies
@significant-lover so real
basically this is what all those 911 gifsets look like to me

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I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.
sometimes it just ends up being something like
ITS BACK
Y’ALL NEED JESUS
Please stop reblogging this post
nah whenever this appears on my dash i laugh for years
HAAAA
…Smut logistics, y’know? SO complex sometimes. 😅
Ilya: No. We will go back to our seats, watch the rest of this boring show, and then go to boring party after. And then, when you have been waiting aaaalll night, you'll come back to my hotel room, and I will maybe, Maybe, do more than just suck your dick.
Shane:
cant even enjoy my somno kink. because of woke
THE big ole freak (the long cut) heated rivalry edit by yours truly 😜
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“You can come out to your parents without giving them a list of all the guys you’re fucking,” says Ilya Rozanov, way too confidently for a man who has never actually met Yuna Hollander, who will Definitely Ask,
oh, shane, you are dating someone!! this is great!! can we meet him? (no) can you tell us his name or what he does for a living? (no) can you tell us what city or even country he lives in? (no) can we see a picture? (no) does he have social media? (no) so.... shane, honey, it kind of sounds like you don't have a boyfriend (yes I do, he lives in… some other part of canada, you don't know him) and maybe you're just saying that because you're not ready to date, but honey, you should date! I have a list of men here, I have a plan to get you a boyfriend, I have the NDA forms right here, we'll get you a raya account… (no!!! mom, I do have someone already, I just can't tell you anything about him, ever)
yuna: ah I see, hmm, one moment please, let me bring up an alphabetical list of all 700+ current MLH players. is it aaron a. aaronson???
shane: of course not!! mom!!!
yuna: you know what, of course not, I'm sorry and it was ridiculous of me to even think so. aaron a. aaronson is a second-rate player on a third-rate team, let me re-sort this list so that the stat leaders are at the top and start again from there, haha, here's a funny one to cross off the list right away, I guess: is it ilya rozanov???
fall in love again and again...
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how come every time you come around my london bridge wanna go down like... ?
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Posted a fic yesterday!
Title: come as you are
Fandom: Heated Rivalry
Pairing: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 4821
Tags: Consensual Non-Consent, Under-negotiated Kink, Situationship Era, POV Alternating
Summary: The Uber drops Ilya off and then speeds away, the last screech of sound disappearing from the empty dark alleyway behind Hollander’s place. Ilya lights a cigarette and fishes his phone out of his pocket.
Lily: let me in
The minutes tick away with no answer. Ilya continues to smoke, the dark amusement in his belly swelling as he pictures the petulant pout on Hollander’s lips as he ignores Ilya.
Lily: you might be loser tonight but you don’t have to be sore loser
He drops his cigarette and grinds it out under his heel.
A minute passes. Two minutes. Then the sound of feet thumping down the stairs, and Hollander opens the back door.
bitch, i’m a big deal
nails, hair, hips, heels - todrick hall

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rereading squire... kel's dislike of jonathan is genuinely so special to me especially having reread wild magic recently and seeing how charmed daine is by him at first <3 thing is jonathan iv is the greatest king the realm has ever seen he IS working towards social progress and some of the most powerful people living love him and call him their lord. but he fucked this up so baddd she'll serve him she'll obey him but she's never going to like him. FUMBLED! jon has turned so many strange & remarkable people into assets to the throne he's surrounded by the cream of the crop when it comes to the exceptional & the gods-touched. and while kel is for sure an asset to the realm she Actively Dislikes Him. that's the distinction, see, she's an asset to the realm not to him. it's such an L. imagine what you could do with someone like that if she was loyal to you personally instead of just as a concept! and like i think in time she will be an asset To Roald because roald likes and trusts her & his future queen does too... genuinely jon shot himself in the foot by allowing that probationary period. kel is on very good terms with his heir his daughter-in-law his knight commander his CHAMPION his spymaster his greatest spy his most powerful mage... and she cant stand him. how embarrassing your majesty
#I love the idea of reading this as Alanna's roasting of Jon (via @ereborne)
Diary of a Redwall Mouse
July 22nd: breakfasted on a lovely array of fresh strawberries and goat’s cheese with honey, oat cakes and barley porridge. For luncheon we feasted on a catch of smoked trout, vegetable stew, and of course a couple of flagons of October Ale
July 23rd: countless deaths