Jordan

Y'all this is a piece of history right here. Every single time you see a reference to a "shovel talk" in fic, defined here as "someone threatening harm to a potential romantic partner of a friend/loved one," it's referencing this scene. This scene specifically. Everywhere else that is not fannish internet, that interaction is referred to a "shotgun talk," referencing the father threatening a daughter's boyfriend with a shotgun. This scene gave a lot of people a chance to reframe that interaction in terms of a protective friend rather than a possessive father, which for a lot of obvious reasons resonated with people a whole fucking lot, and it immediately spread like wildfire into fannish and then general internet lexicon. I've seen people try and backronym it into an extension of the shotgun talk, as in, "I've got a shotgun and a shovel to bury you with," but I've asked a lot of rednecks from a lot of different necks of the woods and no one has ever encountered that variant in brickspace life. It's all Buffy, babey. This shit is linguistic history in the making.

idioms are always funnier in languages you do not understand, especially when a native speaker is struggling to explain and actively digesting how ridiculous it is in real time

A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

“Um hey guys. I’ve been hit pretty hard with financial difficulty lately. I’d really appreciate it if you’d consider commissioning me.”

Credits to the murderer

“Why are your prices so high???? I could kill him myself for free! whatever, ur not even that good at murder anyway”

Omg I love this guy’s work! He’s new and not so well known in the hitman community, but he’s so amazing and is appreciate it if you guys have him some love ❤️❤️

Support your local assassins

”um why would I pay a hitmen would I could just steal military ai and have it kill anyone I want for free”

Ai military robots can not murder like real hit men, they’re messy and lack the spirit that involves murder

I’m never leaving this fucking app.

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

Gonna try to actually clean my room! Wish me luck

Found a letter from 2022 addressed to Anne. Idk who Anne is