graveyardpumpkin

So yeah, the first time Ilya is just down and out gross in front of Shane he gets one of those hard and fast stomach bugs that hits out of nowhere. One minute he’s waking up in bed feeling kind of off, and then he’s sprinting to the bathroom and doesn’t fully make it to the toilet before puking

Now, given his upbringing, I would imagine he was raised in a house where, if that happened when he was growing up, he got scolded while sick and told it was his job to clean it up. So he’s feeling awful, throwing up, thinking that Shane’s gonna be annoyed and he’ll have to clean it quick because Shane doesn’t like mess

But Shane, raised in a supportive household, sees this and just quietly grabs paper towels. Ilya takes a second to lift his head and sees Shane cleaning up the floor. Ilya tries to say that he’ll get it and it’s fine but Shane just tells him not to worry and he can’t argue because he has to throw up again

A big wad of gross paper towels land in the garbage and then Shane is gently rubbing his back and saying soft soothing things about how he knows it’s miserable and he’s sorry Ilya is feeling this way but he promises that once everything is out Ilya will start to feel better. And Ilya is kneeling in front of a toilet, puking, covered in clammy sweat, and is hands down the least sexy he has ever been in Shane’s presence

When the dry heaving is done Shane makes sure he can stand on his own and lets him brush his teeth while he goes and gets something. Ilya is surprised he’s allowed back into bed being sweaty and gross and not sent to the couch, but Shane gets him down and settled, puts a Gatorade on the nightstand for him, wipes his face with a damp cloth, and then sits down and strokes his sweaty hair until Ilya falls asleep, curled up on his side with his face pressed to Shane’s thigh

He spends the next day sleeping, eating toast, rehydrating, and getting spooned by Shane until he feels ok enough for a shower where Shane washes his hair for him, telling stories about times he was sick growing up

A few minutes later, the same guys come and drag Ilya to the bar, only for him to find Shane on the counter, lying on his back. Ilya quickly catches his eye, silently asking him if he's OK with whatever is happening and is relieved to find him smiling, giving Ilya a small nod in reassurance. Ilya then turns towards the team members gathered on the other side of the counter and shouts, " You dumb fuckers better have a good reason to have my husband up on the bar like this."

Wyatt answers," We don't want to die on the night we won the cup, so of course we have a good reason." He takes a shot from the bar tender and turns towards Shane. " OK, Hollzy. Suck your stomach in as low as you can." Shane pulls his tshirt up a little and sucks in a deep breath, pulling in his belly button, to make a hollow space as much as he can with his abs in the way. Wyatt pours the shot in, careful not to spill and announces proudly," Special shot for the Stanley Cup Champion!" All the guys start chanting " Cap! Cap! Cap!" and there is nothing else for Ilya to do except to bend forward, gather all the liquid in his mouth, his tongue tickling Shane's belly button in the process and tip his head back, swallowing it whole. Everyone gathered at the bar scream in delight, chanting Ilya's name. Ilya licks his lips and admits, " OK, that was genius. Now I feel bad for calling you stupid." Wyatt looks thrilled for a second before scrunching his face in confusion, " Wait, when did you call me stupid?" Ilya waves it away, "Doesn't matter. You are genius now." Shane doesn't get up but instead grabs the still upset Wyatt and tells him to get another shot. He then turns towards Ilya and says with a twinkle in his eye that Ilya knows so well but appears rarely in public, " Don't swallow it this time." Ilya grins at what Shane is implying and before he could respond, Wyatt has returned with another shot and is now filling Shane's belly once more.

Ilya steps forward to slurp all the liquid into his mouth again and with some difficulty manages not to swallow it. Shane lifts himself up on his elbows and Ilya wraps an arm around his neck, grabbing his chin and tilting his head back. Shane opens his lips when Ilya presses his mouth against them, pushing the vodka into his husband's mouth. Shane swallows to the sound of their team members going nuts, screaming their names at the top of their lungs. Someone calls out, " Holy shit, that's hot as fuck."

“You told me you love me,” Shane said, no further explanation.

“Mmm yes, many times.”

“No, I mean, that night on the phone. When I told you to talk to me in Russian.”

Ilya’s eyes snapped open at that, immediately understanding what phone call Shane was talking about.

Crap. He’d kinda hoped Shane would just remain ignorant on this forever. He should’ve known better given how over analytical his husband was.

“That was months before you came to the cottage for the first time…”

Ilya held Shane’s shocked gaze, “yes, it was.”

“You felt that way even back then?”

“I felt that way the moment I became infatuated with your freckles.”

“And when was that?”

“Juniors championship in Saskatchewan.”

Somehow Shane’s eyes got even bigger with shock before they became misty with adoration. He pounced on his husband, kissing him with all the newfound love bubbling up inside him (he didn’t think he could love this man more than he already did, but apparently he can). Ilya reciprocated, cupping Shane’s face with the utmost care, pouring his love into the kiss as well.

All too soon, Shane pulled back, staring at Ilya with a skeptical glare.

“Wait, so were you ever going to tell me this?”

“I didn’t have to,” he tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, “you figured it out all by yourself in the middle of the night after we have been married for almost a year.”

Shane rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you just weren’t gonna tell me.”

He laid down on Ilya’s chest and Ilya could practically hear the gears turning in his head as he contemplated what he was going to say next.

“The rooftop in Vegas.”

Ilya smiled. “Still rubbing it in my face that you beat me for rookie of the year?”

“No,” Shane huffed.

Ilya smiled, knowing the exact grumpy expression on his husband’s face even though he couldn’t see him.

“That was when I knew. Before you yelled at me,” he pinched Ilya’s nipple in belated payback, “I was going to say I thought we could be friends. But what I really wanted was this. To be with you. More than what we were then. I just couldn’t admit it to myself.”

Ilya felt a lump form in his throat at Shane’s words, thinking over that moment on that rooftop all those years ago. What they could’ve been if he hadn’t been such an asshole. Maybe they could’ve had this sooner. Could’ve been the first out hockey players instead of Scott fucking Hunter.

“I was an asshole back then,” was all Ilya could get out.

Shane moved, resting his chin on his folded hands, meeting Ilya’s watery gaze with a small smile. “Yeah, but like you’d always say, I kinda liked it.”

Ilya brushed his knuckles over those freckles he fell in love with at 17. “How did I get so lucky?”

Shane looked like he was actually searching for an answer before saying, “I like to think it was the power of hockey.”

Ilya snorted, feeling a fondness despite the corny thing his husband just said. He rolled them over, hovering above Shane, getting lost in the depth of his eyes.

“Ya tebya lyublyu.”

Shane smiled, cupping Ilya’s cheek, tummy fluttering when he leaned into his touch.

“I love you too. So much.”

Ilya leaned down and captured Shane’s lips. When he pulled back, he flashed a smirk, rubbing his nose against Shane’s.

“Now, can we go back to sleep?”

Shane laughed and it was music to Ilya’s ears.

“Yeah. Sorry for waking you.”

“Don’t be. I love being woken up by you.”

“Okay, you sad sap. Go to sleep. I’ll be sure to wake you up again in a few hours.”

“Mmm, I can’t wait.”

New people at work when introduced to him go "oh, like Shane Hollander" and he BEAMS at that and says "Yep!"

Has a picture of Shane on his desk and the same new people think its a joke until an old timer who probably met Shane at a bring your kid to work day clued them in

Would not let Yuna touch the college fund they set up for Shane until he was out of his rookie contract. What if Shane changed his mind about hockey? What if he got injured and needed a good education? Only conceeded when his son was a multi-millionaire

Only time he has ever gone to HR was when someone stole the baby Shane picture off his desk after he got famous. That's his baby!!! Give it back!!! There were so many memos and all staff emails that it did get returned one night, but a picture of it circulated online so now David only has PR photos at work

His lawyer is an old college friend who he catches up with at least once a year and who reviews the Hollander's will and life insurance policy each year with specific instructions to look after Shane. This annual tradition continues to this day. The lawyer buddy is going to be there for that grown celebrity professional sportsman no matter what

Was so excited when Shane started The Cottage project, and helped him with everything, including liaising with the builders etc. Was delighted to have the first a joint project with his son since school (he helped with art/science/show and tell)

Is really bad with technology but the nice young people at the office help (is not fully cognizant of the fact half the office is in love with him but does correctly suspect the other half want to marry his son)

Always knew he wanted to be a dad, and was devastated when it seemed like that wasn't going to happen, but didn't want to put that on Yuna who was already struggling with it

Sent congratulation cards and presents to all his buddies when they had kids anf was genuinely happy for then but it also killed him a bit. Unfortunately the conversation around men struggling because they wanted kids was not happening in the 80s/early 90s so he kept quiet (and passed that trait on to Shane)

Thought Shane was perfect from the moment he was born, and still thinks that. Can't concieve of why Shane thought he could let them down, he's literally always been Yuna and David's perfect baby

ilya is calling him just to hear his voice and shane is like ??? why are you calling me?? is everything okay? are you sad about your brother again?

ilya is sending nudes and shane is immediately deleting them and not acknowledging them because he’s scared of his phone getting hacked

finally when ilya comes to visit for the first time he’s like my shane ?? do you want to break up? and shane’s like no!!! never!!! tears are in his eyes. ‘why would i want to break up?!!!’ and ilya’s like well you never return my bids for attention….

That's pretty much exactly how it goes for many years. Fast forward some time in the future. Shane and Ilya are now in their retired dads era and they're sitting with Hollanov Baby's teacher. Teacher is suggesting that they maybe should consider testing Hollanovling for autism.

"Alright, makes sense." Shane is thinking to himself while nodding along.

Of course both parents wanna do right for their child the best they can. Ilya is ready to do all the research about autism and the more he learns the more he's side-eyeing Shane. He finds it most interesting by the end of his research that autism is most likely genetic. Now he's more than certain his husband has it. How does he bring it up to him, however?

Well, he supposes, he'll have to gently share his findings with Shane. "Did you know about the genetic factor?" He'd ask Shane one day as he's showing him all the studies he was reading up on.

"Oh, yeah. That'd make sense." Shane nods. "Considering I'm autistic too."

Ilya feels like he got slapped in the face with this information. He's known this man for how long now? Over 20 years by this point. He thought he knew everything there is to know about Shane Hollander, and he did suspect it to be the case. But how is Ilya just now finding out that his husband has been diagnosed the whole time?

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Ilya would ask. He's not being accusatory in any way, just curious.

He and Shane have been falling asleep on FaceTime for months while Ilya was curled up tight around a pillow, Shane’s voice in his ear and blurred imagine on his screen as he dreamed of the warmth and smell and feel of Shane under his hands. He’d been looking forward to this for almost three months. Where the fuck was his Shane. Half asleep and frowning hard Ilya tumbles out of his bed, they are at his since it had been a home match in Boston. He scratches at the low of his stomach as he muffles a yawn and with one eye squinted stumbles towards the ensuite. The light is pushing out the bottom of the door and it makes Ilya wince, but his stomach turn hopefully that he will find his shane there.

He pushes open the door, and sees Shane there, handsome and just in sweats stood by the sink, hands under the water because of course Shane washes his hands so thoroughly after a middle of the night piss. Ilya loves him so much, the sight of his back makes his chest fucking ache. The distance between them seems ridiculous. Shane is turning toward him now, eyes half shut, voice a low rumbled sound, heavy with sleep.

“Baby? Wasswrong?” Shane asks, and he’s drying off his hands, half a step towards Ilya before Ilya is already there, arms wrapping around the low of Shane’s waist, squeezing him to his chest to tight it lifts his feet up off the tiles and makes him grunt.

Shane’s hand smooths the back of Ilya’s sleep hot curls and his arms wrap around him and he’s so warm and lovely and strong in Ilya’s arms. So real. Ilya wants to sink his teeth into him.

“Okay?” Shane asks, and he’s tucking his face into Ilya’s neck, rubbing a sleep rosey cheek into Ilya’s neck, jaw, hand massaging at his scalp.

“You were gone” Ilya grumbles back, as if Shane had committed the worst act possible. An act of warfare.

“Had to piss” Shane sighs, nips at Ilyas earlobe.

“Missed you” Ilya whispers, a tiny confession, and he feels Shane’s arms tighten around him, wrapping around his neck.

“Then take me back to bed baby” Shane asks, lets Ilya lift him up, it’s easy, a slide of hands and he’s against Ilya’s chest, hands under Shane’s thighs, walking them back to his bed.

Ilya lays shane on the bed first, climbs in and pulls the covers up up over them and lays himself overtop of Shane. “Stay” Ilya gruffs, an instruction, and bites at Shane’s chin, jaw, shoves his hand down Shane’s sweats and feels Shane’s hand in his hair, slowly combing through, over and over.

“Just like this” shane agrees, fingers at the back of Ilya’s neck. Shane’s heartbeat, strong and steady under his cheek, the smell of him, warm and slightly of sweat, of the soap he’d washed his hands with.

they definitely did not have the same experience, of course, and especially the facts that troy got his perfect coming out while shane got punished + the racism shane probably was confronted with by troy are unique for shane. ryan on the other hand experienced mobbing and downright emotional abuse.

but they both share the fact experience of having to watch troy being absolved for all the shit he did and yes they see that troy changed for the better, that he wants to make a difference, he apologizes he wants to make amends, he takes responsibility (even tho there is still a lot of room for processing all the shit he did just saying) and that is all great.