Thoughts like Shadows

“You went through all of this… alone?” Sam asked, her voice small. In that moment, she didn’t really think about all the yelling they did in the garage. She didn’t think about the hurt she felt while they were apart. All she could feel in that moment was this strong urge to let Rafael know that he wasn’t alone in all his problems. That had always been what she felt like her default setting, her way of showing that she cared. Sam might not have the perfect words to say when faced with the people she cared about having problems, but she can reassure them that, no matter what, she was going to be there, which was why Sam found herself moving closer to Raf to wrap him up in a tight embrace. 

“I’m so sorry you had to deal with this by yourself,” Sam whispered, not wanting to let Raf go, wanting him to understand that even with how much the two of them had hurt each other, she was still here. She didn’t think that love for him would ever go away, and this problem was so much deeper than whatever relationship drama they had. Sam knew that, especially because she still couldn’t wrap her head around how his own father had done all this without her knowing. “I wish he told you himself too,” she murmured, letting out a deep sigh as she hesitantly pulled away from the hug. “Was it… good? The things he said in there?” Sam hesitantly asked. 

“what else was i supposed to do sam? i wanted to do this by myself” he asked, no malice in his voice. rafael knew that if he had asked her she would have been there. it still felt wrong to have someone else helping him with his parents things. it felt like something that he needed to do on his own. he knew that maybe he should have had her there. his reaction might have been different because all he had felt reading the words was anger. there had been so much anger as well as grief. he still hadn’t fully wrapped his mind around the fact that his parents were truly gone. there were still times he felt like they both were with him. maybe it didn’t make sense but that was how he felt. 

          Twisting the cap of his own beer and stuffing it into his pocket, Ben quickly looked over his shoulder towards the group of people sharing stories, getting rowdier as more alcohol was downed. This was his family. Martin had been one of them and he had to be avenged, but for now… They’d drink. His eyes moved back to Rafael and he nodded, “A mess and a half” He agreed, sighing deeply. As Raf stared at him, Ben couldn’t keep his eyes on him but rather cast his gaze downwards, “I got back a few days ago” He spoke before finally being able to look up, “Had to get some shit in order before I could show my face around here. You and me, man…” He begun speaking, but took a small pause to take a breath and push his hand through his hair, “We’ve got some shit to talk about, I know. But before any of that…” He paused again, looking Raf straight in the eye this time, “I just want you to know how fuckin’ sorry I am” He’d never been good at apologies, and this one was no different although it meant more than any apology he’d ever given. Raf was his brother. Ben was well aware that he shouldn’t have let anything get between them in the first place, but now that it had, he felt a great desire to make things right. Not just because he was obligated to, but because he’d missed Raf while on the road, and even before right after he’d screwed things up. 

He and Rafael had gotten fairly close when they were forced to share the same cell when they were locked up, and even though Rafael was scheduled to get out months before Tucker, they had an understanding that they’d see each other again. To say that Tucker was grateful for the job that Rafael had helped him get was an understatement, which was why he walked towards the older man as soon as his shift is done. “Wanna head over to La Luna and go grab a drink with me? Just got my first paycheck and is it bad that the first thing I wanna do is go to the bar?” Tucker asked with a chuckle.

it would have been a lie for rafael to say that he hadn’t thought of tucker since his release. mostly because during his time being locked up he had kept to himself. due to the fact that they had shared a cell meant that they didn’t really have a choice but to get to know one another. he hadn’t been surprised when tucker was released and come around. he had been more than happy to offer the younger man a job. after all he knew what it was like to need to rebuild your life and get back on your feet. it was something that he was still doing. 

plus he knew that tucker was going to be a hard worker. rafael had been stuck going over some paperwork for most of the day. there had been one or two incidents that he needed to help take care of. other than that it had been a mostly uneventful day and he was relieved. everyone in town was still on edge but they were trying to get back to what was normal. the day had ended and everyone was getting ready to get the hell out of the garage. he was getting his keys when he realized tucker was approaching and he shrugged,” sure,” he said after a moment,” honestly it’s not but just don’t waste it all on booze.” he was going to shut the door to the office and shrugging on his  kutte,” how are things? you good being back with your familia?” 

Sam had made a last minute not to get drunk tonight, at least until dinner because she did not want a repeat of last time where she burned her hand because she had been too drunk to pay attention to what she was holding while she was cooking. She was coming to regret that decision when she heard a very familiar voice when not expecting him to come over at all and had to double check if she was high out of her mind. At the sight of him again in the home that they had previously shared, all Sam wanted at that moment was another drink because seeing him there felt like a hard punch to the gut. He came over though. Again. That has to count for something, she thought, and she hated just how hopeful she felt. 

The shock was evident on her face as she listened to his words, adding in the fact that he came to actually open up to her just made that hope inside her burn that much stronger. “Raf…” Sam said, the pieces of the puzzle clicking then. She had defended Rafael multiple times from his father, both when Raf had been in and out of prison, so she feared the worst when it came to those letters. “May I?” She asked, gesturing towards one of the opened letters. “How… how are you feeling?” Sam asked quietly, her hand reaching out to rest on his arm in what she hoped was a comforting manner.

he was just praying that sam wasn’t drunk. he knew that she had been a mess considering everything. he couldn’t blame her for that but he just didn’t like seeing her in such a state. even if it was mostly because of him. he knew that the fact that she wasn’t on speaking terms with her sister probably didn’t help. he was just relieved that she hadn’t changed the locks and that was what led to him waiting for her to appear. he could tell that she was surprised to not just him but by what he was holding. the fact that he was opening up to her probably shocked her even more. after all anyone that knew him, knew that he was someone who kept things to himself. there were a select few people that he allowed to actually remain close with him. 

“Si I know.” Dark eyes looked over the wolves again, one of them had to have had a hand in Martin’s death. There was no one else with a motive, whatever theirs had been. Making things tense, kicking off a fight between the groups? Marcus didn’t know. “Los mataré yo mismo.” He looked away from the others and back to Raf. “I don’t know. Maybe trying to hit us where it hurts. Everyone knew him, he was one of my padre’s men. He’s been around forever.” Katrina he didn’t know much about at all. “Sam though? Is she good?” 

even if he wanted to just stay with sam, he knew he couldn’t. mostly because he knew that it was likely marcus would want everyone there. they would need to figure out how to move forward. it was the first time that raf remembered someone dare murder one of their own. especially since it was martin and he was one of marcus’ father’s men. that meant that someone was trying to hurt them and he knew it. it meant that someone wanted to make them fall apart but there was no way that it would happen. 

he was glancing towards the wolves before he looked back towards marcus. everyone was going to be one edge for weeks to come. he knew that it had to be one of them in order to do so. he was looking around and nodding,” i know you will.” he was still so confused that someone would dare do what they would. he was unsure what he should do and he was sighing,” well they fucking did a good job of it,” he said slowly,” we’ll make sure to give me a good send off.” he was nodding slowly, not surprised at the question,” sam is..drunk but she’s okay.” he was still trying to process the state that she had been in,” what about addie? is she okay?” 

Rafael Graves

Dahlia Wright

Lena Martinez

Abraham Wells

Celeste Maddox

Genesis Porter

Marianne Winston

Abel Danvers

Aspen Walker

          Sitting in one of the uncomfortable couches in the club house, Ben held a cigarette between two fingers, taking a drag every now and then, while he and some of the guys sat around reminiscing about their time with Martin; because despite having to figure out who murdered him in cold blood, the guys needed time to remember the good things too. When getting up from the worn couch to get himself a drink by the bar, his eyes caught movement by the entrance. Flicking his gaze over towards it, Ben stopped in his tracks when his eyes caught Rafael’s. The two hadn’t seen each other since before Ben had left on a bad note, still needing to talk things through and resolve things. Fetching two bottles of beer from the bar, he then let his feet carry him towards the other, nodding as a greeting, “’Sup man?” He spoke, handing one of the beers towards his brother, testing the waters but being well aware they still had things to resolve, but not wanting to jump right in. 

With: Samantha Martinez

@samanthafm​

a small sigh escaped since rafael already knew what was coming. he was rolling his eyes as he thought about how horrible that night had been,” i have no fucking idea what i was thinking,” he admitted,” shit had me fucked in the head, i wouldn’t have let that puta put her hands on me.” if there was one thing anyone could say about him it was that he was loyal. sometimes he was loyal to a fault. he was going to take a swig of his beer before glancing back at cliff,” no shit i have the crazier martinez girl but lena sure is giving her a run for her money,” he told him with a pointed look,” you still talking to her?” honestly he just wanted to think of anything but his fucked up love life. 

rafael was in the mood for something greasy. that meant going to one place and that place being hale’s diner. he had claimed a booth for himself and had been attempting to read the newspaper. his head lifting when he heard adelita’s voice,” hey.” he instantly thought about how the last time they had talked was before martin was discovered. he had taken off without thinking in order to make sure that sam was alright,” it’s nice to see you too.” he motioned for her to sit the second she asked,” i don’t mind at all,” he told her with a shrug,” things are, uh, to put it plainly, a damn disaster but it’ll work out.” at least that was what rafael hoped but he had no idea actually,” what about you? you and the princesa doing okay?” 

rafael felt the need to actually go out. that was why he was at la luna instead of drinking himself into oblivion in his home. he wasn’t surprised when he saw cliff there. he was sighing as he heard what cliff was uttering. the loss of martin was shaking up everyone. everything was tense and he knew it. he was relieved the moment that one of the bar tenders handed him a beer. he was going to take a swig before clearing his throat,” mi hermano,” he mumbled,” it’s fucking insane and we all know it.” he still couldn’t fully process that martin was gone,” shit’s fucked and i’ve never-i didn’t ever think this could fucking happen, not to him.” 

“If someone made a fucking move without telling me they’re getting a bullet to the head. Estás pero si bien pendejo!.” Slamming his fist against the table he looked over at the wolves who were now standing on the other side of the room. “Tell me what you know.” @charmingstarter​

rafael was still practically reeling due to what had gone down. mostly because no one ever imagined it would happen. martin was dead and he had been one of the old timers. he had heard about one of the wolves. that had been after he had come back from going to check on sam. even if he hadn’t wanted to, he had to go back. he knew that there was a chance that shit was going to go down. he was biting on his lip since he knew that emotions were going to be running high on both sides. not that he gave a shit about the wolves or their loss. all he was thinking about was the fact that one of their own was dead. 

“marcus,” he said slowly, his voice low,” no one here is stupid enough to make a damn move without going to you.” at least that was what he assumed but he had been gone for ten years,”  quien hizo esto va a pagar.” he could feel eyes on him but his focus was purely on marcus,” this doesn’t make sense.” who would target martin or even fucking katrina?