This is how Les MisƩrables went right
Valjean: give me a place to stay please and thank you also Iām stealing your silver
Bishop: bitch you couldāve asked
Fantine: please donāt send me away for having a kid
Foreman: how bout I do.. anyways
Javert: hello Monsieur Mayor you look familiar
The mayor, sweating visibly: uh man idk what to tell you
Fantine: k well my life fucking sucks
Valjean: whereās your child
Valjean: *accidentally finds Fantineās child* woah
Thenardier: you can have the child I donāt fucking want it I mean give me money or you canāt have her
Cosette: k youāre my dad now I guess fair enough
Valjean: Iāll take very good care of y- ITāS THE FUCKING POLICE RUN CHILD RUN
Cosette: *under her breath* heās better than the Thenardiers
Javert: Iām sad can the stars fucking help me find this bitch and arrest him
Gavroche: life is good woah
Marius: *is sad because heās alone*
Les Amis d'la ABC: hey marius do you wanna be friends
Cosette: damn Iām pretty now
Marius: damn she is pretty *proceeds to stalk her for over a year*
Ćponine: hey marius youāre cool oh you like another girl ok then
Valjean: *is kidnapped by some random dudes that just so happen to be the Thenardiers while marius watches* wow rude
Enjolras: marius weāre gonna build a barricade are you with us
Gavroche: hey whereās my parents
Marius: Iām in love with you
Cosette: Iām in love with you too
Ćponine: *proceeds to dress up as a boy so no one will question her presence at the barricade* extra? me? no
People of France: *build barricades* yas fam this gonna be lit
People of France: maybe not so lit *abandons Amis*
Grantaire: *@ enjolras* so it looks like itās just you n me ol chum
Enjolras: fuck this shit *dies*
People of France: aw, thatās so sad :((( theyāre all dead :((( if only :(( we couldāve :((( helped them :(((((((
Marius: ok all my friends are dead wow rude
Cosette: letās get married
Valjean: marius Iām an ex convict I stole bread but donāt tell Cosette k bye
Marius: cosette your dadās an ex convict he stole bread
Valjean: marius you had one job *dies*
Amis + other dead people: *singing about freedom theyāll never see*