hello and welcome to my brain

Klaus: If Ben was still here, he’d agree with me!

“Years ago a friend of mine had a dream about a strange invention; a staircase you could descend deep underground, in which you heard recordings of all the things anyone had ever said about you, both good and bad. The catch was, you had to pass through all the worst things people had said before you could get to the highest compliments at the very bottom. There is no way I would ever make it more than two and a half steps down such a staircase, but I understand its terrible logic: if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

after YEARS of seeing this quote online and finding it to be the most deeply and resoundingly profound writing i finally found the source article and absolutely nothing could prepare me for this opening paragraph

You know that’s the origin of the term “canon,” right?

if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te

Okay th*n. *f you’r* sure about th*s. 

And she speaks a bunch of languages and she’s so smart that when she lost her memory of everything, she learned it all again really quickly (with nurse chapel which was so cute)

y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”