bro how do you think airplanes get between airports

Pez dispenser airplane

Shoutout to the comedy duo of TSA agents I just encountered, one of whom called me "sir," the other of whom called me "ma'am," both of whom apologized in unison, each thinking the other was right

psychically smacking my new hire with a spoon like "no, don't work off the clock" "yes, we give you breaks" "no, we aren't nice for doing this, it's literally the law" it feels like I've adopted a shelter cat

There are two dragons inside of you. One hoards knowledge and the other hoards trinkets. They’re both very excited when you bring them to a museum

Shoutout to giant trees!!!!

hell hath no fury like a tummy hurted