Do No Harm But Take No Shit

So Boston is straight up running out of beer because of all the Scottish tourists in for the World Cup

I love cultural exchange

who turned them german mid tag ?

how do you know they were transformed midday?

i have a croissant related grievance

the entire appeal of the croissant is that it is a layered pastry item. it has a light flaky texture. the layers are in there specifically to create a fluffy, airy eating experience. that's the intention of the lamination process. having so many layers of butter and thin pastry dough make the croissant puff up when it's baked so that when you bite into it the pastry has a texture similar to puff pastry. the entire point is to fill the pastry with air. therefore any trendy hybrid variant of the croissant such the "cruffin" or the "cronut" or the worst offender of all the "croffle" which involve jamming the unbaked croissant or compressing it into a flat shape completely betray croissant as it was originally intended. they defeat the nature of the croissant by forcing it into something it was never meant to be, removing the unique core of its identity, killing its appeal and thus its entire reason for being. now am i saying you can't enjoy a cronut or croffle? of course i would not say this. you can enjoy any pastry you want to enjoy because it's your time on earth. i want you to enjoy your croffle. you should enjoy your croffle. also, you can commit any sin you like and i can't stop you nor do i want to. i won't hear your arguments because you don't need to convince me. but you must understand, as you eat it, that the croffle should not exist. it is a mistake. it is an insult not only to the croissant but to me as an individual. i am not french

This reads as someone with a strong moral code (people should be free to experience joy without arbitrary regulation, you don’t have to like what other people like but your discomfort is your own problem) trying to maintain their faith in a time of hardship (they keep doing weird shit to croissants)

ill be so honest this read of my character in such a fraught croissanted context has me tearing up with the raw joy of being seen

i just destroyed every road that leads to rome

My favorite trope is “janitor in headphones continues cleaning through extreme action”

I’ve been the janitor in headphones and trust me it’s an act we just don’t wanna be involved in the nonsense

Gotta say, my absolute favourite notes on this so far have been the number of people congratulating Tony on his rebound from the Grinch.

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

The fact he's an orange and after the foot came up it took him an absurdly long time to recalibrate

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them