A Tetrahedron

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

One of the guys I worked with told us a story about how, when they were doing archaeology surveys in the woods they ran into a bigfoot hunter. Bigfoot guy asked if they had seen signs of bigfoot, and he was like "Sorry, nothing like that. We're archaeologists, so we're looking for human stuff." and the bigfoot guy was like "Oh! I saw some Native American cairns on my way out here. I can give you a general location." and when he was like "Yeah dude, that'd be sick. We're actually looking to document those." the bigfoot guy was like "Yeah, they looked pretty cool. I didn't touch them though, because Native Americans built them, not bigfoot."

If I was wealthy I’d get weird surgery recreationally and spend five grand on six academic texts per week and have a fancy office that’s only for sucking dick and smoking and wear fabrics made of evil and I’d have two personal trainers that I double book so they have to compete for my attention and I’d smell obscure and irresistible and I’d have machine guns and a sculptor that I fund who lives in the woods and is not allowed to leave but gets whatever they want brought to them because the art is just that important and I’m not allowed to see it until it’s done and also theyre dying

I feel like starfish are one of those animals that are treated as very “normal” by people but absolutely shouldn’t be. Like they’re a wheel of repeating heads connected by a central stomach. They walk around using thousands of tiny sticky hydraulically powered tentacles. They have an eye on the end of each arm. Instead of having a mouth they just have an opening where their entire stomach can be pushed out to engulf prey. And they’re just allowed to exist like this. It’s not illegal or anything.

i don’t know how people care about sports but it’s okay

it’s really not.

i’m tired of pretending it’s okay. we have to kill them

my dead wife. the ad free internet

watching dreamily recorded footage of a web forum from 2003

fonts will be named shit like viscera antique, 16 bit dreams, doctor's orders, bingo condensed, googly, wish you were here