A Tetrahedron

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

She has a truly ancient tiny dog whose pastimes include shitting on my driveway and picking fence fights with Fenris. Occasionally she will ask me to do his nails and he's actually wonderful for them so it takes like 3 minutes tops. She also will usually hand me whatever bill she has in her wallet for it- sometimes it's a 1, once it was a 50, usually it's like 5 bucks.

Now I have tried refusing her money and even gave the 50 back and wouldn't accept it. I then came home to the $50 bill taped to my back door the next day after work. So, you know, I'm kind of stuck accepting whatever she tries to give me because she WILL tape the money to my house somewhere otherwise.

(Once she gave one of her granddaughters a gift that required batteries and was distraught that it didn't come with any. Knocked on my door to ask if I had any. I haven't used my spare batteries in ages so I just gave her a whole pack. Refused to let her pay for them. Three days later a pack of batteries plus ten bucks was taped to my door. So this is not an uncommon occurance.)

Anyway this time she didn't have any money to pay because we're all fucking broke as shit on this block and she was really upset because his nails were starting to curl and once again I did them in like 3 minutes and when she apologized for not being able to pay me I just waved her off and told her not to worry about it.

I came home on Monday to my backyard being totally cleared of winter debris and the growing collection of winter dog shit as well as my fence repaired in two of the places that broke when the tree fell on it. I texted her adult son whose number I have and he confirmed he did it because he was happy that I helped his mom out with her dog. I tried to explain that it really does not take a lot to do the dog's nails but he similarly refused to hear it and said he'd be back in a few days to finish fixing the fence.