sunshine crack fic

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

Moreover, everyone gathers around to be tremulously compassionate and discreetly admiring: all this time, you lacked the Vitamin? And yet you persevered?

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

im angry at myself for walking into that so perfectly

[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: i have no idea what a tumblr accent even is but I know it oozes off of me like a thick miasma, ive been poisoned by tumblr for far too long /End ID]

"That pairing would never be canon" and what of it? I'm only supposed to ship what the church tells me to or something?

ads targeted to women: omg you are thirtyyyy. kill yourself

So, what you're saying is, under no circumstances should we be reposting the above image as much as humanly possible?

939 days left of HIS fuckup

I think I'm gonna have to put the scene in the coparenting au bc i've already read a really good oneshot about the canon aftermath of gus walks into a bank, but i can't stop thinking about why shawn might not have said he loved gus back inside the bank and I've decided on "movie rules: if I said it back there was a chance one of us dies. if I wait, you have to be okay until I say it at the end of the movie-thats now-and I couldn't risk losing my best friend" so there's that

i would fuck him [remembers im talking about a real person] um [remembers its normal to be attracted to people] i would fuck him