Dammit, Katy

Me: 

1. Realize my BFF is actually my one true love 2. while I’m marrying someone else 3. phew 4. We’ve found each other 5. Life has meaning

6. oh btw 7. my one true love isn’t actually a human 8. literally a different species 9. and my ex-fiancee is a gigantic octopus witch 10. literally an octopus in a corset 11. Mermaids and octopus witches are real 12. magic is too 13. these girls 14. and the fundamental laws of reality 15. lied to me 16. I am a pawn 17. Life is meaningless

18. the girls dive into the ocean 19. which sucks ‘cause I can’t breathe there 20. or, like, exist there for very long 21. crap 22. ok here’s the plan

not sure why i rewrote the copy on the men’s clothing section of the uniqlo website, but i did it. the words are different now.

and here’s one that didn’t fit in the photo set:

i am going to name it genovia and plant pear trees and hang pictures of anne hathaway all over it