i haven't had emotions since the accident

Executive dysfunction is basically going “Okay one two three go. And now. Aaaaaaannnnnnnd we’re goinnnnng now.” for like three hours before the thing happens

If the thing happens at all … 😥

you have to rb this on a sunday every time u see this on ur dash

salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you

yeah and it kicks ass

Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?

dude why can’t parents just act like they’re human and have a soul

Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse (1971)

creepypasta titles r like: “my ass got slapped in the forest… there was no one there” “i ate a handful of sand in the 4th grade, and i’ll never do it again” “my dad went to a casino”