sungirl.

+ I accidentally dropped my laptop and somehow managed to break it, so I'll be on hiatus until I fix it.

five. the smile on her face caused an ache in her heart unlike any other. the liquid courage she had felt earlier disappeared as soon as five seconds passed. he was her best friend, her better half, the one thing in this life that wasn’t tarnished. how could allowed such romantically feelings ruin that she tried to convince herself. but rejection hurt and she had too much pride to feel that pain. “did you believe me? i’m a good actress, aren’t i?’ she grinned. she was always the type of girl who could lie with a smile it was what made her so good at her job. but somewhere down the line she didn’t know where the lies stop and she began. @xiesao

“hey, it’s okay. i’m not made of glass -- i won’t break just because you bumped into me.” she reassured. “are you okay though? i feel as if you took the blunt of the fall -- you didn’t hurt yourself right? all your bones are fine -- no aching or no pain?’ it was like switch in her turned on as she started to fuss over the other. 

“me?” she was giddy. her voice cracked as she said it, not many people came up to her like that. it made her feel like a real celebrity, though she has been in the business since she was a child, she hadn’t had any major breaks out roles. “i was in scarlet letter’ she said with pride. scarlet letter was the first lead role she had before that she always a side character. “we also work from the same building.” she laughed.

she grabbed the mango flavored one before she smiled. “thanks.” she added. haeyeon had a sweet tooth, she especially loved the taste of anything free but who wouldn’t? “where did you get this? it’s super good. ugh, just what i needed after a long day of vocal training. i don’t remember why i wanted to start learning how to sing. someone should have told me to stop while i am ahead.” she laughed.

madness never looked so good in a ball cap and a hoodie. madness smelled like after shaved and sweat yet it was still so sweet. there was a funny rhyme her heart was making as they ran down the street. she didn’t even know what was really going on but she haven’t done anything like this since the last time she got drunk with jiseok. her lungs demand oxygen the burning sensation was proof enough that she wasn’t built for this. “oh god -- what did you get me into?” she wanted to sound offended but her lips betrayed her with a smile. she was far to excited from it all. “what happens if they do catch us?”

she almost wanted to say wanted to say ‘who are you to judge’ but she didn’t. because haeyeon knew the girl was right, socialize with people was hard. for her it was easy to slide into one role and slide out for the next one because her own personality was boring. no, it was bland like eating bread with nothing on it. not toasted. no jam. no honey. she was a bland slice of humanity. but acting -- made her better. “i know but it’s hard.” she replied.

she took a seat across from him and opened her burger up. “i bet you he cheated.” she commented as she watched the couple argue back and forth. the table they were at was too far from the drama for her to hear what the couple was saying. “i’m sure of it -- look at her eyes and how she looks so betrayed.” she added. “or maybe he called her fat.” she laughed, a tiny bit of her felt horrible for making a joke out of someone’s else suffering but she needed the distraction. you laugh when someone falls -- how is that pain no different for this one? the voice in her mind chimed in. she swallowed her guilt along with her food. 

another scandal. another gossip blog. more hate. the ugly side of fame seemed to be rearing into her sights. “You don’t have to hide it -- they say you never truly make it in the spotlight unless someone is shading you from behind.” her tone was flat, cold and dry. haeyeon was a veteran in this game of stars, she knew the good, the bad and the ugly. her first attack she was barely old enough to understand what it meant. now a days it felt like she read it all. the double standards, the criticism and the pure hatred of people who hide behind a screen. “what does it say this time?”

her cheeks felt as if they were getting devoured by the heat. the boy’s excitement as she told him about her latest auditions somehow made her feel extremely shy. “i am too -- skip beat is one of my favorite mangas. i feel so lucky to be apart of something so amazing. you know the moment you’re on stage in front of all your fans and your heart is beating -- that’s how i feel when i’m acting. it feels like i’m alive at the fullest in that moment.” she was rambling and she knew it. “ but enough about me -- what have you been up to seen last we spoke?’  

how do i answer? she thought. she didn’t want to appear too rash but yet she didn’t know if it was truly a bad thing to indulge on cold treats during winter times. to explain it simply, she was dumbfounded. “ah -- i don’t believe so but you shouldn’t make it a habit either -- it might end up getting you sick.. but i think it’s the whole concept of taking a hot shower during the summer so you won’t get hot -- so maybe eating something cold during cold season won’t make you cold?’ there was doubt in her tone and uncertainty written all over her face. “i guess we can find out together.” 

hello! im gonna to do replies and starters, i am also adding a drama-plot list  [ which means these are drama that i wish to have two actor muses act out?  i can explain more later. ] add me on aim @f.mous