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the War Council meeting was held in the conference room at Town Hall.
i stood at the podium, fussing with the laptop on the card table next to me. i had hooked it up to the projector with an HDMI, but for some reason, the connection wouldn't take.
"o Holy Mayor, i just don't understand," said one of my advisors, Stradivarius, from his folding chair in the middle row. "what's your plan for taking out the Goblin Kingdom, exactly? i get that you're going to use the Thermos, and that you're being guided by the righteous will of God and all that. it would just be nice to know the plan, is all."
"agreed," said Rogelio, a member of the Priesthood. "we must make sure the interests of the Church are adequately represented."
"does the Church dare to question the Messiah?" sneered Apocryphina, who represented the Council of Elders. "you of the cloth have gone astray of the ancient way and diverged from the Path of God. soon you will have your reckoning. so saith the Prophet!"
"can someone help me with this?" i asked. "i can't get my laptop to connect to the projector."
"is the projector turned on?" ventured Paprika, the Town Council representative, from the front row.
i looked and saw that it was not.
hiding my utter mortification beneath a brittle veneer of keeping-it-together, i chuckled, and said, "oh, i guess it wasn't. my bad. sorry, everyone."
but no one cared. they were too busy arguing.
"hey! come on, guys. it's meeting time," i said.
begrudgingly, they quieted.
"i made a PowerPoint," i said. "i hope you find it sufficient. it's, uh—well, you'll see what it is."
at a click, the title page of my PowerPoint went up on the projector screen behind me. written in colorful text on a bright yellow background in wavy WordArt font, it said:
my visions of victory over the Goblin Army
a PowerPoint prophecy
by: Rodrigo :-)
i clicked from the title page to the first slide:
1: Goblins will besiege all cities throughout the land
Goblin Kingdom NOT deterred by threat of Holy Thermos!!!
they will attack the towns and villages surrounding Ursanuma
devouring the young of the livestock, crops of the land, etc.
i said, "the Goblin Army may be deterred from attacking Ursanuma for the time being, but they won't sit idly after such a blow to their pride. they'll start attacking neighboring villages. they may have even started already."
i clicked to the next slide.
2: the kings of the earth shall be afraid
the leaders of the other towns and villages will reach out to Ursanuma for help defending themselves against the many-headed Lion of Blasphemy (aka Goblin army)
they will rally behind the righteous will of God and the awesome power of the Holy Thermos
i said, "and the leaders of those villages will reach out to us for help defending themselves. they know of the Thermos, the power our village wields, and right now they fear to associate with us. but when the time comes, they will reach out to us, and become our allies."
i clicked to the next slide.
3: and the believers of the land will be united under the banner of Pulundi
we will march on the Goblin Kingdom, and surround their castle
armed with our Holy Weapon
and destroy their kingdom in the name of our God
i said, "while the Goblin forces are split between their own lands and ours, we will invade the Goblin Kingdom, and use the Thermos to destroy it from within. according to my visions and the word of God Itself, this will be a victory for us."
i clicked to the next slide.
4: a strange-faced moon rises over a field of blooming red
to be honest, i don't really know what this part of the vision means
it always comes after the visions of our victory at the Goblin Castle
??????? probably not a bad omen
"admittedly," i said, "this part is weird. i don't know what it means. but it always comes after we win, so... it's probably not bad?"
even as i spoke the words, i felt doubt. there was something unmistakably menacing about that leering moon. how it had risen over a field of nebulous red that seemed almost alive, almost breathing. exhaling waves of mysterious particulate into the undulating midnight breeze.
but on the other hand... God had told me not to worry. and wasn't that the essence of faith, to hold to your beliefs in times of doubt? yes. faith without doubt was merely infatuation.
"so faith has to be blind?"
the voice of Cornelius echoed in my head, a memory. he had said that once, when the topic of faith had come up between us.
i don't remember what i said in response. something to the effect of yes. and Cornelius said, "then i guess we should be really careful about who we put our faith in."
i was jarred from my reverie by the voice of Rogelio.
"hold on now. the Church does a lot of trade with the Goblin Kingdom. are we sure God wants us to destroy it?"
"yes," i said. "God has been excruciatingly clear on the matter."
"okay," said Rogelio. "but what if instead, we offer them a peace deal?"
"they won't accept a peace deal," said Paprika. "they're Goblins."
"do we know that, though?" asked Stradivarius. "have we tried?"
"we do what God wants," said Apocryphina. "o Holy Mayor, don't waste your time paying heed to these petty squabbles. go forth and prepare for war. the Old Way has dawned on the world anew; the Word of God is law."
i had to admit, Apocryphina had a point. or, at the very least, all that stuff she said was kind of what my whole platform as Holy Mayor was built on.
i said, "while i would love it if we had the time, resources, and security to try out peaceful solutions just to see if they work, we don't. we're fighting a war that we're not in any shape to win, but for the power that God has graciously bestowed upon us."
"didn't God also start the war?" asked Stradivarius.
i thought for a moment. "i think the Evil Stew Goblin did, actually. but that's irrelevant. even if God had started the war it wouldn't change anything. we are still beholden to It's will. we will carry out the commands of Pulundi to the letter."
later that night, alone at the Holy Mayoral Manor, i reflected on that decision. i was full of doubt. and more than just doubt. resentment, too. i resented Pulundi for what It was making me do. i resented the fact that i felt i had no choice. that was the sickening thing—the feeling of being caged. even by my own faith, a thing that had once brought me joy. a cage was a cage.
how could a mere mortal defy the will of a powerful God?
The Dark Loon couldn't believe his eyes or ears as he shifted eagerly up in the rafters above the meeting, only barely escaping being heard due to all of the squabbling below.
He thinks to himself. Pulundi wants this war? It is his will? What Pulundi wants is genocide!
The Dark Loon cracks a sinister smile from within his darkly colored, moon shaped mask. Pulundi wants genocide? He will get it. A shame really. The Dark Loon was looking forward to tormenting these amigos for a long time to come. Perhaps the boss back home will let him keep some of them alive for that reason? If not they'll taste good in some bear stew at the very least.
Later that night, a loud, hurried knocking is heard at Rodrigo's door...
the knocking did not wake me. it was half past two, but i was still up, ruminating and staring pensively out of the large bay window in my office. the moon was half-full and low in the starry sky, near to setting. despite it's undeniable beauty, the tableau disturbed me. it reminded me of the Choosing, the visions i saw during my brush with death.
the knocking came again, insistent. i felt a chill. i found myself suddenly wishing i wasn't alone.
you are not alone, said the familiar voice of God inside my head, for I and My Holy Power dwell within you.
that was true. however i might be feeling about Pulundi right now, i was still It's vassal, and It's Holy Power would keep me safe.
when the knocking started up for a third time, i opened the door.
At first glance, it is as if no one is there. On the ground however, is a note written in green crayon and broken english.
You sez dis waagh is da soup god's will. Maybe it iz. But don't ya see? You iz denying da will of two ovver gods. And your soup still sucks. Stew is betta!
I is watching ya git! You have made it far too easy.
-Da Dark Loon
P.S.: Turn around and look at ya door. I left ya a suprise.
Written all over the Mayoral Manor's doorway in glowing letters is "I hate soup!" or "Da false soup god HATES you!" and "STEW IS BETTA!"
And in the center, the very same goblin-faced moon sits there, red mold making up it's outline.
A quick movement is seen dashing into the nearby alleyway, followed by the crashing of some debris.
Okay, if you are tired then you won't be able to read. There I say it. No one else want to say it. It is strange. If you are tired, if you cannot finish a book that's a given. That's why you need to read...at work. You need to steal your reading time from your employers.
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the War Council meeting was held in the conference room at Town Hall.
i stood at the podium, fussing with the laptop on the card table next to me. i had hooked it up to the projector with an HDMI, but for some reason, the connection wouldn't take.
"o Holy Mayor, i just don't understand," said one of my advisors, Stradivarius, from his folding chair in the middle row. "what's your plan for taking out the Goblin Kingdom, exactly? i get that you're going to use the Thermos, and that you're being guided by the righteous will of God and all that. it would just be nice to know the plan, is all."
"agreed," said Rogelio, a member of the Priesthood. "we must make sure the interests of the Church are adequately represented."
"does the Church dare to question the Messiah?" sneered Apocryphina, who represented the Council of Elders. "you of the cloth have gone astray of the ancient way and diverged from the Path of God. soon you will have your reckoning. so saith the Prophet!"
"can someone help me with this?" i asked. "i can't get my laptop to connect to the projector."
"is the projector turned on?" ventured Paprika, the Town Council representative, from the front row.
i looked and saw that it was not.
hiding my utter mortification beneath a brittle veneer of keeping-it-together, i chuckled, and said, "oh, i guess it wasn't. my bad. sorry, everyone."
but no one cared. they were too busy arguing.
"hey! come on, guys. it's meeting time," i said.
begrudgingly, they quieted.
"i made a PowerPoint," i said. "i hope you find it sufficient. it's, uh—well, you'll see what it is."
at a click, the title page of my PowerPoint went up on the projector screen behind me. written in colorful text on a bright yellow background in wavy WordArt font, it said:
my visions of victory over the Goblin Army
a PowerPoint prophecy
by: Rodrigo :-)
i clicked from the title page to the first slide:
1: Goblins will besiege all cities throughout the land
Goblin Kingdom NOT deterred by threat of Holy Thermos!!!
they will attack the towns and villages surrounding Ursanuma
devouring the young of the livestock, crops of the land, etc.
i said, "the Goblin Army may be deterred from attacking Ursanuma for the time being, but they won't sit idly after such a blow to their pride. they'll start attacking neighboring villages. they may have even started already."
i clicked to the next slide.
2: the kings of the earth shall be afraid
the leaders of the other towns and villages will reach out to Ursanuma for help defending themselves against the many-headed Lion of Blasphemy (aka Goblin army)
they will rally behind the righteous will of God and the awesome power of the Holy Thermos
i said, "and the leaders of those villages will reach out to us for help defending themselves. they know of the Thermos, the power our village wields, and right now they fear to associate with us. but when the time comes, they will reach out to us, and become our allies."
i clicked to the next slide.
3: and the believers of the land will be united under the banner of Pulundi
we will march on the Goblin Kingdom, and surround their castle
armed with our Holy Weapon
and destroy their kingdom in the name of our God
i said, "while the Goblin forces are split between their own lands and ours, we will invade the Goblin Kingdom, and use the Thermos to destroy it from within. according to my visions and the word of God Itself, this will be a victory for us."
i clicked to the next slide.
4: a strange-faced moon rises over a field of blooming red
to be honest, i don't really know what this part of the vision means
it always comes after the visions of our victory at the Goblin Castle
??????? probably not a bad omen
"admittedly," i said, "this part is weird. i don't know what it means. but it always comes after we win, so... it's probably not bad?"
even as i spoke the words, i felt doubt. there was something unmistakably menacing about that leering moon. how it had risen over a field of nebulous red that seemed almost alive, almost breathing. exhaling waves of mysterious particulate into the undulating midnight breeze.
but on the other hand... God had told me not to worry. and wasn't that the essence of faith, to hold to your beliefs in times of doubt? yes. faith without doubt was merely infatuation.
"so faith has to be blind?"
the voice of Cornelius echoed in my head, a memory. he had said that once, when the topic of faith had come up between us.
i don't remember what i said in response. something to the effect of yes. and Cornelius said, "then i guess we should be really careful about who we put our faith in."
i was jarred from my reverie by the voice of Rogelio.
"hold on now. the Church does a lot of trade with the Goblin Kingdom. are we sure God wants us to destroy it?"
"yes," i said. "God has been excruciatingly clear on the matter."
"okay," said Rogelio. "but what if instead, we offer them a peace deal?"
"they won't accept a peace deal," said Paprika. "they're Goblins."
"do we know that, though?" asked Stradivarius. "have we tried?"
"we do what God wants," said Apocryphina. "o Holy Mayor, don't waste your time paying heed to these petty squabbles. go forth and prepare for war. the Old Way has dawned on the world anew; the Word of God is law."
i had to admit, Apocryphina had a point. or, at the very least, all that stuff she said was kind of what my whole platform as Holy Mayor was built on.
i said, "while i would love it if we had the time, resources, and security to try out peaceful solutions just to see if they work, we don't. we're fighting a war that we're not in any shape to win, but for the power that God has graciously bestowed upon us."
"didn't God also start the war?" asked Stradivarius.
i thought for a moment. "i think the Evil Stew Goblin did, actually. but that's irrelevant. even if God had started the war it wouldn't change anything. we are still beholden to It's will. we will carry out the commands of Pulundi to the letter."
later that night, alone at the Holy Mayoral Manor, i reflected on that decision. i was full of doubt. and more than just doubt. resentment, too. i resented Pulundi for what It was making me do. i resented the fact that i felt i had no choice. that was the sickening thing—the feeling of being caged. even by my own faith, a thing that had once brought me joy. a cage was a cage.
how could a mere mortal defy the will of a powerful God?
The Dark Loon couldn't believe his eyes or ears as he shifted eagerly up in the rafters above the meeting, only barely escaping being heard due to all of the squabbling below.
He thinks to himself. Pulundi wants this war? It is his will? What Pulundi wants is genocide!
The Dark Loon cracks a sinister smile from within his darkly colored, moon shaped mask. Pulundi wants genocide? He will get it. A shame really. The Dark Loon was looking forward to tormenting these amigos for a long time to come. Perhaps the boss back home will let him keep some of them alive for that reason? If not they'll taste good in some bear stew at the very least.
Later that night, a loud, hurried knocking is heard at Rodrigo's door...
not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally
The new AOS Hedonite model does do a good job of demonstrating how AOS Chaos' design benefit from Not Being Fucking Marines, or at least, not needing to keep Marines in mind for all the designs.
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Having received stews from both @the-stew-goblin and @the-evil-stew-goblin, (thanks lads, I owe ya one) myself and the gits are running around preparing for the battle.
"LADS!" I shout to the green crowd running around. "We haven't had a scrap as good as the one about to happen in a long time! Surely Da Bad Moon and Da Red Mold will want to join in, eh?"
A loud, high pitched cheer rises among the goblins in the castle courtyard.
"We iz gonna zog dem up!"
"I fink we should turn dem soup eaters into soup eater stew!"
"A good scrap is on da way!"
A crooked smile appears on my grotty lips before turning into a long strained cackle, unsettling even some of the goblins below.
"This is the energy I like to see from you gits! Keep up that up! I can't wait for our WAAAAAGH! TO BEGIN!"
Dankhold Troggoth based and painted for Warhammer Old World. I'm going to run this as a Giant for my Orcs and Goblins army. This model is a ton of fun to paint, I'm incredibly happy with the final result!
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Starting off the Orc and Goblin army with my Giant (Dankhold Troggoth) and Trolls. The Troggoth is such a cool model, I want this to be the centerpiece for my army so whatever I paint with this guy should help decide the colors for the rest of the army.
And because I always forget, here's the skin recipe so far.
Watered down Woodland Camo airbrushed over a zenithal highlight. The lighter skin on the stomach and under the arms is a 50/50 mix of Middlestone and Charred Bone, watered down and airbrushed. The darker skin on the rocky backs is 75/25 mix of Camo Green and Black.
They've got a ways to go but I'm already really happy with how they're looking! Since I've had these models one of the painting ideas I've had for them was just "Really Big Goblins" so I wanted them to be green with yellow bellies!
The ears and nose were painted with Tuskgor Fur. I may go back and further blend and highlight at a later point.
The barnacles on the darker skin were based with Mahogany. The lighter skin was also based with Tuskgor Fur. These spots were then highlighted with a rusty orange-red color, similar to Acryl's Red Earth Texture paint. To get a color like that I mixed Acryl Burnt Red with Mournfang Brown.
Getting the right shade of orange/red is super important, this is going to be the color for all my squigs, banners, armor details, and topknots for my Orc army.
I used the same grays I used on the rocks for the mushroom stems. The assorted glows are made with the Turquoise I used on the oxidized metal, followed by a highlight of Citadel Temple Guard Blue. This will be the colors I use for any magic OSL for my army.
This model is a delight to paint. All that's left is to paint the base and I'll call it done.
And I think this is a color scheme for the bases that I'm happy with.
The dirt texture is based with Light Umber and some spots are highlighted Charred Bone. The Cactus are painted Woodland Camo and Skulls/Rocks Nuetral Gray, then both are drybrushed Bright Warm Gray.
Nearly done, now for varnish and a few grass tufts!
Thank you if you followed along with me while going over this painting process. This model is going to use nearly all of the colors the rest of my Orc army is going to use, so I wanted to write everything down as I did it so I could reference it in the future. This model was a ton of fun to paint and I'm looking forward to painting the rest of my Orc army and play some Old World!
I'll post the finished model pretty soon, happy hobbying!
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