Just a Bean

Kazui clamped his jaw shut as the woman answered the door. He couldn’t reveal just how shocking her appearance was. Though she was a complete stranger, he couldn’t tear his gaze from her familiar eyes. They were round and blue, the kind you could just drown in. He’s seen that crinkle of confusion before. She looked exactly like her son.

“Good afternoon, ma’am. My name is Mukuhara Kazui. I’m with the Yokohama region police department.”

He hated framing this as official business – he should have been done lying about his identity. Still, he reminded himself that he was stopping crime, even if not mandated by the chief

“You’ve made quite a trek to get here,” she noted. “Is something wrong?”

“I was wondering if I could have a word with your son, Sakurai Haruka. It won’t be lo—”

“What did he do this time?” She flicked a glare over her shoulder. Her lips twisted into a scowl.

“N-nothing! He’s not in trouble or anything. He may have some information for a case we’re working on. He’ll be very helpful to me.”

“I see. You can come in.” She muttered, “but I wouldn’t get your hopes up about that.”

She led him into the house. Everything was ordinary, but Kazui gaped at if he’d stepped into a grand art gallery. They passed by his bedroom, and it took all his willpower not to linger in the doorway. No matter how much time he spent with Haruka, Milgram had always stripped a part of each prisoner away. Now, he was able to see everything. He knew exactly the toys Haruka enjoyed, and the art he chose for his walls, and the view from each window. He knew the color of the walls he grew up around, and the plants that grew alongside him. He knew what kind of couch had been home to the boy as he sat down.

The back door slammed, there was some shouting, and then Haruka appeared. He offered shaky greetings before sitting in an opposite seat.

Kazui had seen everyone at different stages of their lives, living normally. They all had pictures online: an extensive social media presence, a class photo, a congratulatory job posting, something. All but Haruka.

The boy looked nearly the same – Kazui was cutting it close with his timing – but it was still a shock seeing him look so ordinary for the first time. His lounging clothes would have looked comfortable if they weren’t pinched in ill-fitted spots. Dirt brushed across both knees, and a single blade of grass tucked in his hair. Though it was obvious, the thought of the boy being able to go outside and lie in the grass nearly broke his composure before they’d begun.

He coughed. “There’s no need to be nervous.”

Haruka only tensed more.

“My name is Mukuhara Kazui… Do you… do you remember me?”

He had no idea how to go about this conversation. Days of weighing the options still hadn’t brought him to any conclusion. Telling the boy he was a time-traveling murderer probably wouldn’t go over well. But if he lied, would Haruka trust him enough to change?

“Remember…? Um. N-no, I’m sorry. I have a bad memory. My brain is too-too stupid. I’m sorry.”

“No! No, I just...” He inhaled carefully. He was already screwing this up. “Do you… believe in supernatural things?”

“Like, um. Ghosts? Maybe? I, uh, I don’t really know…”

“Not specifically. The thing is. I know a little bit about the future.”

“Oh…?”

“You don’t have to believe me, or anything. I know it sounds crazy. I just want you to know… bad things are coming in the future. That’s why I’m here to help.”

Haruka squinted at him. “Bad things like ghosts?”

If he only knew the half of it.

“You’ve been lonely, right? Your mother has been spending less time with you?”

“I…” Haruka dropped it head. “It’s my own fault.”

“It isn’t. But it still hurts, right?”

The boy paused, unsure of what the correct answer was. His face remained guarded as he watched Kazui speak.

“I can help with that. I know a lot of people who would love to spend time with you. Teachers, counselors, friends. I’m going to bring them here, and introduce you to them.”

The boy chewed on his fingernail, awe fighting with his previous suspicion.

“They’re very nice people, I’m sure you’ll like them. But… I wanted to speak with you first. If anything isn’t working, if your mother is making things difficult, or if one of those people isn’t good for you, you can tell me, okay? You can tell someone. Don’t keep it to yourself. Keeping it to yourself will only make things hurt more. I… I know that for sure. No secrets, no lies.”

Was that too much? Did he sound crazy? Should he have left out the part about knowing the future altogether? Was he only projecting? What if he’d only made things worse? Panic whirled inside of him until Haruka began to nod.

It was a subtle gesture, then a grin spread across his cheeks. His hands wrung, but this time out of excitement. “Are you sure?” he asked. “All those p-people… here for me…? And mama! Um, it will make mama like me again?”

Kazui winced. “Well, I can’t guarantee anything about her feelings. Love… love isn’t a thing to be forced.”

He placed a hand on Haruka’s shoulder. The boy beamed up at him, unaware of the pain in his previous statement. He would be unaware of a lot of pain, going forward, much to Kazui’s relief.

“But I promise you’ll have love everywhere you turn. I promise, everything is about to change.”

--------

Brrrrrring.

“I’ll get it.” Hinako hurried to the phone. She didn’t recognize the number calling. “Hello, Mukuhara residence.”

Kazui stood just after her, taking both their dinner plates to the kitchen.

There was a pause on the other end. A young girl spoke. “O-oh. Mukuhara-san?”

“Yes? Can I help you?”

“I… um…”

Hinako frowned. It was never a good sign when a child called an off-duty officer with so much nervousness in their voice. “Is everything alright there?”

“Y-yes. It’s nice to hear you’re well.”

“I’m sorry, have we met?”

“No. I am a friend of your husband’s. May I speak with him?”

Hinako’s concern melted with a smile. Kazui had likely visited her elementary school or program for some event – it was sweet he made a big enough impact that she saw him as a friend, and spoke of Hinako’s health so politely.

“Of course.” She pressed the receiver to her chest. “It’s for you.”

Just before she passed it over, the girl said, “thank you ma’am. May God bless you.”

Hinako ran the faucet as Kazui offered his greetings.

“Yes, I’m… Pardon? … How did you…? … What did you say your name was?”

He received a pointed look from his wife. The girl was so polite; surely she couldn’t have earned his harsh tone.

“Slow down. I don’t understand. … Well, no, but … What? No! How –!”

Hinako looked away from the dished when Kazui’s breath caught in a choked, distressed sound.

His eyes flicked frantically to her. His face had gone entirely pale. He stepped away from her, towards the front door.

“Is everything alright?” She whispered. Maybe her initial instincts had been correct. She was ready to head out, too. “Is she safe?”

He nodded weakly. “Yes. H-hold on…” He waved her back, even as he fumbled with the apartment door. “This will be just a minute.”

Hinako’s gaze followed him until the door shut. She didn’t mind that the conversation be taken in private, but his refusal to say anything was strange. She twisted her sponge anxiously. It wasn’t like her husband to keep secrets.

~

Kazui returned a little later. Though his eyes were still haunted, he wasn’t rushing into action or emotion. He simply wrapped Hinako in an embrace. His hold was solid and warm, as if he never planned on letting go.

“Kazui, honey,” she leaned into the hug. “What happened? Who was that girl?”

With his face still pressed desperately into her hair, he let out a strange laugh – the kind of relieved release after some grand ordeal or close call.

Mahiru took a deep inhale as she watered the fragrant flowers in front of the shop. It was a beautiful spring day, the kind that felt like your troubles would float away in the warm breeze. She hummed as she moved across the vibrant display. Her coworker returned a wave from the other side of the shop window. Pedestrians greeted her as they passed by, each brightening her day with a smile.

That is, until he showed up.

“Mahiru?”

A man around her age stopped dead a few feet away.

“O-oh?” She put the watering can down. “Can I help you?”

“It’s you! You’re alright!”

Mahiru had always been praised for her excellent memory, never forgetting a face or a name. Unfortunately, she could recall neither that belonged to this young man. He had wild red hair, and she got a view of his crooked teeth as he continued gaping at her. His grey eyes overflowed with emotion.

“I’m sorry…” She offered a beaming smile and a bow. It was sweet to meet someone so happy to see her, but she wouldn’t lead him astray. “You must have me confused with someone else.”

“No, no it’s you! Don’t you know me? It’s Fuuta!”

“I hope you find who you’re looking for~”

“It’s you! I swear, I know you! My, god, I can’t believe you’re alive!” He leapt forward, crushing her in an embrace.

Her smile melted into a pitying wince. While she dreamed about meet-cutes and shop-side hugs, it felt different when the other party wasn’t fully sane. “I – I mean it! There are a lot of Mahiru’s in the city, you know…”

“But only one Shiina Mahiru, born in Ashiya, only child.” He had pulled back, but kept his hands on her shoulders as he took her appearance in. She didn’t like the way his gaze flicked over her body, from her eyes all the way down to her feet.

“Your birthday is January 17, you’re blood type… uh… was it B? You studied literature at an all-girl’s school. You met your boyfriend at a convenience store, where he worked. Don’t you see?”

She shifted uncomfortably, but he did not let go. Was he someone who’d known her lover? Or just some stalker that overheard her case on the news a year ago? Mahiru glanced over to the shop window to catch her coworker’s eye.

The strange man paid no mind to the distress written across her face. He started listing off even more specifics – the dramas she liked to watch, the magazines she read. He recounted novels that she kept hidden under her bed, and opinions she’d only ever written in her diary. Her breath quickened.

“See? I know everything about you!”

He pulled her a little closer. His iron grip and wild eyes made her squeal. “And I know what you did. I know about your boyfriend. I know—”

“Get away from me!” She yanked herself free. Her cry caused some on the street to stop and stare.

“N-no! It’s not like that.” The man waved his hands to hush her. His eyes darted around before pinning her under that violating stare once more. “I killed someone too.”

She took a shaking step backwards. He followed. She flinched as he let out a crazed laugh.

“I can’t believe I found you! It’s a miracle!” He leaned forward, his arm reaching for hers.

Mahiru took a big stride away, her foot catching on one of the flowerpots. She tumbled onto the concrete, paralyzed by the shooting pain and panic. She could only stare up as the murderer reached out towards her.

He was yanked backwards. Two policemen grabbed under his arms to pull him away.

“Hey! The hell do you think you’re doing? Get your hands off me!”

Her coworker hurried out of the shop. “Are you okay?”

Mahiru simply clung to the woman’s arm after she helped her to her feet. The stalker – the murderer – was led a few feet back.

“Ma’am, do you know this gentleman?”

“She does! It’s me, Fuuta!”

Mahiru shook her head frantically. “I don’t. But… He knows about me… I don’t… I never…”

“That’s alright. We’ll take your number, and contact you when we need.”

“You don’t understand! She was dead! She died!”

His voice was rough and shrill as he shouted more nonsense. Mahiru wanted to curl up in on herself.

The crazed man was moved into the police car. He craned his neck to meet her eyes one last time. His words made her blood run cold.

“I’ll find you again, just you wait! I swear it! Mahiru!”

Jackalope continued doing just that. Es sat atop the desk, strewn with notes and doodles and games. Their tail twitched in exasperation. “There are better ways to process the trial songs.”

“Are there, though?” The warden made a circle around his chair, picking up Es’ paws to dance together. The keys around his neck jingled as he rocked back and forth. “I think you really need to feel the music…”

Es snatched their arms back. “I would much rather you feel it in your brain instead of everywhere else.”

“I’ve given it plenty of serious thought! But sometimes you need to trust your emotion, your intuition.”

“Do you care to share any of those serious thoughts?”

“Oh, sure.” Jackalope shrugged, then listed off ten verdicts.

“Eh? You already chose for everyone?” Es’s fur bristled. “You haven’t even held all the interrogations!”

“They’re subject to change, of course. But you said I can judge for whatever reason I want, right? Well, I got my feelings about everyone. I can already tell you that number eight is a load of trouble, just like I can say number six gave us gold and could never have done anything wrong~” He struck a pose just as her song ended.

The songs looped back to the first prisoner’s. “I suppose he did a decent job with this one… The kid kinda of gives me the willies, though…”

“You realize they didn’t write these songs themselves, correct?”

“Oi, I’m not stupid!”

He paused his dancing, much to Es' relief. His gaze filled with passion. Confidence. He placed a hand on his chest, over the silken runed sash, and felt his pulse race from the exertion.

“You said to follow my heart. To throw myself into human connection. To let emotion come before law. To listen, to understand, and to relish in the process. That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“…I see.”

“You should try this sometime.”

“What,” they deadpanned, “lean into my human side?”

Jackalope twirled on beat. “Experience fun.”

“Tch.” They hopped gracefully onto the floor. “Scrambling around the room like that is the last thing I’d describe as fun.”

“Oh? What does a mythical rabbit get up to for leisure, then?”

“I… Well…” They paused on their way to the door. “I don’t have time for anything like that. I have my duties here, as do you.”

“Yeah, but everybody has stuff they do for fun.”

Es was silent as they hopped away. Jackalope crossed the room quickly, cutting them off from the exit. “Nothing at all??” He placed his hands firmly on his hips. “That’s going to change, immediately. You’re coming to spa night tonight.”

They recoiled. “With the prisoners?”

“It’s not like they’re contagious, jeez.”

After a beat of silence, they muttered, “it’s dangerous to get so attached.” Then they tried to scoot past him. “Now. As I said, I’m very busy. If you’ll excuse me, I have duties to attend to. This is a prison, after all.”

“Come on, we have plenty of time for that later!” The Warden's pout melted into a smirk as he added, “plus, it wouldn’t hurt to take the night off from the kitchen. I could give it a whirl, eh?”

“Just what are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything.”

Jackalope scooped Es from ground. On a crescendo of music, he raised them into the air with a bright laugh.

“I’m saying I’m a way better cook than you~”

While I think there are plenty of ways Fuuta could have died T3 (worsening suicidal thoughts, getting into a fight with 09/10 while injured, going against Amane’s beliefs as much as Shidou), I think the best way to keep the rest of the story accurate would be like this: Shidou starts healing both victims after Kotoko’s attack, but Fuuta starts hanging out with Amane before he can help too much. He ends up spending more time with Mahiru, and is able to get her to a point where she’s weak, but not worsening. Fuuta, having thrown away medicine with Amane, is actively getting worse as his injuries get infected. Once Amane kills Shidou, there’s no one to pick up on signs of infection and take action. While Mahiru continues on the upswing, Fuuta succumbs to his fever.

Though Yuno’s development would be different, I still think Mahiru would have a big impact on her without her actually dying. Life may actually be more hopeful – “I wanted to die before, and still feel incredibly guilty because I was careless with the one thing Mahiru wanted, but we’ll have each other to lean on as we choose to live and find our connections going forward.” Just because she doesn’t cut her hair and act super depressed won’t mean she’s not deeply changed and is willing to speak more grounded with Es.

I think Kazui would get hit with even more angst of uselessness – he already feels guilty about not protecting the ones who died, but there’s something extra painful that the one prisoner he did manage to save died anyway. In his mind, the one good thing he managed to do in prison was undone (also by his negligence). I like to imagine he’d really throw himself into caring for Mahiru as atonement (which Fuuta was too independent to give him the same option in canon), but it’s just as likely that he’ll shut down and isolate himself further…

Even surviving, Mahiru would have it pretty bad, going through a huuuge Love Disillusionment. She would have survivor’s guilt that Fuuta died from his attack wounds but not her. She would understand that Shidou died because he was helping to heal her – his love for her got him killed, just like her bf. Haruka’s situation would remind her of her case as well – a boy who killed himself because of unhealthy love for a girl. I can’t see her rejecting love outright, but she’d have such a significant shift in her worldview, and it would not feel good.

At some point mid-hiatus, completely out of the blue, Jackalope announces they’re cutting contact. The dead trio is secluded in one wing of the facility, neither group allowed any information or communication with the other. Even though they were aware of the story, the prisoners wouldn’t be prepared for the sudden separation. They’d probably still worry about one another’s health and well-being with Jackalope unable to confirm even “they’re healthy/they’re fine.”

Knowing it’ll be weeks (if not months) until they can see the trio again, the group is plagued with the things they realized too late. Muu starts to notice all the empty spaces Haruka has left, and her excitement at their bond falls. She worries Haruka will be thinking he’s better off gone for all that time, and she can’t tell him how wrong he is. Yuno had come to terms with her admiration of Mahiru, but as soon as they cannot talk, she realizes she’s never once mentioned it to the woman. Amane, too, sees firsthand the gaping hole that Shidou and Mahiru leave, and doubts she rid the world of sinners. She suddenly yearns to have a more civil conversation about the medical treatment. (Same goes for Kotoko’s potential guilt over Mahiru’s death.)