Hi :)

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

🧛 nathing vrong vith me

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

women need gnocchi

many are saying this

everything going downhill but at least there’s still phone in bed time am I right.. ahah am I right

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

You can lie when you name things

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive