Amusing Golden Pair Moments

*INFJ and INTP just woke up*

INTP: *Sleepily* Most beautiful woman in the world...

INFJ: Nuh uh!

INTP: I can see you, my love

INFJ: No you can't, it's dark in here

INTP: But your smile lights up the room!

INFJ: My smile does not emit photons

INTP: ...That's irrelevant

*INFJ and INTP are watching Carnival Row*

INFJ: I don't think shooting Cthulhu is going to do much.

INTP: True, but he's going to give it a ... shot.

*INTP and INFJ are eating breakfast silently while off in their own little worlds*

INFJ: *Is chewing mouthful of slightly crunchy onions*

INTP: *Bobs head back and forth to the ‘beat’ of INFJ’s onion chewing*

INFJ: *Looks an INTP and stops chewing*

INTP: *Tries to look innocent* What?

INFJ: I’m sorry, I keep repeating myself, but the words just don’t have the right emphasis or oomph…

INTP: They don’t have the right oomphasis?

INTP is playing Final Fantasy X and has the music off.

INTP: *Wins battle*

INFJ: *Imitating victory music* Doot de doo, doo doo, doot de dooo!

INTP: *Raises single eyebrow at INFJ and starts laughing* Would you like me to turn the music back on?

INFJ: No. I do think that the victory music should still play when you win your battle though, even with the music off.

INTP: Why?

INFJ and INTP are chatting about a book that INFJ is reading. INTP has already read the entire series and keeps accidentally mentioning things that INFJ hasn’t read yet.

INTP: I’m sorry my love, I keep ruining it.

INFJ: It’s okay, I don’t mind a few small spoilers. Just no sad spoilers.

INTP: *Wilts and gives the book in INFJ’s hand a sad look*

INFJ: You’re the bestest my love, you made me breakfast!

INTP: But you bought the stuff for breakfast, so you’re the bestest.

INFJ: Oh big deal, go to the store, throw some stuff in a cart, and bring it home. You actually put time and effort into making the food.

INTP: So what would you like to do this evening my love?

INFJ: ...You ask hard questions.

*INTP and INFJ are watching Bones*

INFJ: We have a serial killer my love!

INTP: Does that mean you want to watch another one?

INFJ: No. Yes! I don’t know. Maybe?

INTP: *Notices sign in the window of a drive through*

INTP: “No receipt? Enjoy your meal on us!” I don’t think they’d appreciate it if I throw my open box of food at them if they don’t give me my receipt.

INTP: I left you alone all day. I’m sorry my love.

INFJ: Why are you sorry? You were at work. Besides, I like being alone. The only thing better than being alone is being with you. Remember, I hate people. But you don’t count as people. You’re better than people.

INFJ: It’s freezing!

INTP: It’s only 38° F. Freezing isn’t until 32° F.

INFJ: *Sticks tongue out at INTP and blows raspberries* It’s freezing.

INTP: Making fart noises doesn’t change the Laws of Thermal Dynamics my love.

INFJ: So are you going to read my love?

INTP: Do we have that book?

INFJ: Which book? INTP: The one called "My Love"?

*INFJ and INTP are watching Fringe*

INTP: Let’s watch this episode next.

INFJ: Why? It’s not the next one.

INTP: Because it’s “The End of All Things”

INFJ: But you can’t watch the end before you watch the stuff that comes before the end.

INTP: Why not?

INFJ: Because that’s not how it works.

INFJ: I guess it doesn’t do any good to get the wheat pancakes for less calories if I smother them in butter and syrup.

INTP: I wasn’t going to say anything my love.

INFJ: Actually, it still does help, because I’m smothering less calories in butter and syrup.

INTP: Whatever you need to tell yourself my love.

INFJ: You’re supposed to agree with me.

INTP: I’m sorry, *clears throat* I mean, that’s very true my love.

*INFJ is doing her statistics homework; she and INTP are discussing physics*

INFJ: If you’re in a car traveling 35mph and wind resistance is a thing that exists, when you throw a triangle out the window how many souls can Pedro buy with one cupcake?

INTP: 17