The Kitties Titties.

Same

Everyday is like. Endure Emotions and Complete Tasks. Can I die

to the woman watching the Toxic by Britney Spears music video with no headphones in the psychiatrists waiting room: you’re the only motherfucker in this room who can handle me

*thinks about my trauma* i come with lore

I’ve decided I’m done being embarrassed of dumb shit I did 5+ years ago. That’s backstory, now. It’s Lore

Trying to explain a felony charge to a prospective employer

“ Warning: I do this ”

*vampire voice* my love… how do i preheat the oven

The enjoyment I get from removing the wax packaging from a lil cheese wheel is immediately aligned with entertainment zoo animals get when they have to solve a puzzle or get into a box to find a treat. I’m just an ape and the babybel cheese people are my enrichment team

I think about this post a lot. I talk about it a lot. It’s to the point where, at work when we don’t like someone, we go, “that person is NOT on my enrichment team” because apparently the biggest insult, we think, is that that person is not successfully zooing us.

this is incredible thank you for telling me

if anybody needs me I’ll be acquiring skills

my art peaked wen i was 4 or so and would just throw whatever shit i could find (juice, rainwater, plants, moss, shells, dirt, sugar, soap, rocks, milk, toys etc.) in2 a bucket n stir it with a wooden spoon 4 hours sitting in th garden n wen som1 would ask me wot th fuck i was doing i would b like “Potion”

if anybody needs me I’ll be acquiring skills

*butler hands me a wax-sealed envelopè* your callout post, sir