Sup bitches!

Bockstensmanen, a medieval person who happened to die in a bog which preserved his clothes (and more), clothes like hella comfy??

Like seriously. Comfy and warm wool clothes!

(yes this are pictures of his actual outfit, not reconstructed clothing. They were very well preserved in all except colour. The bog gave everything that yellow shade, i suspect)

He got a mantel that resemble a poncho

It goes around the entire body! So perhaps not quite a mantel but.

A got a little hood with a fashionedble long thingy at the end

Warm that too! There is no openings for wind or anything, so like. Just pull hood over head, get warm!

Warm socks! Gotta keep em feets warm (and just like in english, the swedish words for trousers, byxor, is in plural in its normal form, just because the medieval version of trousers consisted of two separate peices like here.

Somewhere, there should be something for hos upper legs but idk were that one is)

Anyway! I do think one can tell that keeping warm was an important part of the logic behind bockstensmannens clothing. Not odd that, when he lived in Scandinavia and all…

All pictures from

But that hairstyle! That he really had! Bockstensmannen wore like Peak Fluffy Medieval Hair Fashion in life

The entire doll wearing bockstensmannens reconstructed clothing

Source: https://www.museumhalland.se/bockstensmannen/bockstensmannen-far-ett-ansikte/

and i was like “..the what?”

and she was like “the painting of the bird on the branch. can you put it there” and she pointed to the abstract painting

and i was like “how is that a bird”

and she said “well what do you think it is?”

and was like “it’s a beached whale with a giant eye, blowing blood out of its blow hole onto the legs of a guy who’s running away”

I need to get up. I wanna get food. I gotta exfoliate and moisturize, cause my skin looking atrocious right now.

What if… [deep breath] What if I die here, y’all? Would anyone even miss me?Like, really?

I want Enrique Iglesias to come save me. Like, the ceiling opens up and like, he comes down from like, a heavenly cloud with my glasses, and he’s singing. [imitating Enrique Iglesias] ‘Would you dance? If I asked you to dance? I will be your hero baby!’ And I just take my glasses and I’m like ‘Thanks yo! Put a shirt on homie!’

But life, life don’t work… life… [prolonged silence]

[camera zooms in on glasses] 

Me: Maybe. But it’s not just gay or straight. There’s lots of things a person can be.