Yahweh nerfed mé, coz if Ah weren't, Ah would learn ALL the languages old, new, & forgotten, and then reconstruct the tower of Babel to personally kick his arse.

if i look back, i am lost
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@goblinindenial
Yahweh nerfed mé, coz if Ah weren't, Ah would learn ALL the languages old, new, & forgotten, and then reconstruct the tower of Babel to personally kick his arse.

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Rocky chose a hand to match Grace's scar!
Wake up call.
Gema.piano on instagram
Why are all music teachers like this 😭😭😭
THEY ARE
when i was 8 i had a very intimidating russian woman as a music teacher- she was both my opera instructor and piano teacher. about a month into piano, she sat me down and said to my mother and i "this child- very beautiful voice, good for singing. i will not allow this child to continue piano. god did not want this child to play an instrument. he told me this in dreams. that is all."
my mom had it written down on a slip so we could remember the exact words because it was so funny. i HATED playing piano and i was definitely not good at it (i did end up having a good 5 years of opera training and ended up being a pretty accomplished choir singer though) and the idea of god sending my incredibly severe and serious russian piano teacher a dream begging her to stop teaching me piano was probably the funniest way it could have gone.
Seriously, I think I know why music teachers are often like this, and it's the same reason PE class sucks, and I think it's important to talk about.
If you are a musician, and you really really really love music, and you want to base your life around it ... there are very few careers that will allow you to do that. Your chances of being a professional musician who successfully builds a life-long career at it are very small.
but there's always a demand for music teachers.
In the same way, if you are a very athletic, sporty person, and you really really love playing sports and working out, and you want to base your life around it ... there are very few careers that will allow you to do that. Your chances of being a professional player who successfully builds a life-long career at it are very small.
but there's always a demand for sports teachers.
so you end up with a lot of people in those careers who don't want to be teaching, they want to be doing the thing themselves. Music/Sports was always easy and joyful for them, so they have no real empathy for people who struggle, and they often don't know how to explain it to people it doesn't come naturally to. And they get bored and frustrated. And sometimes they take it out on their students. They end up being terrible at teaching and take students who were meh about Their Beloved Subject and turn them into people who hate Their Beloved Subject.
Making a cult and sometimes making them eat their own poop
Taking unsolicited photographs (if that's even illegal)
Apparently murdering a suicidal gay prince, overthrowing a god who’s also head of the government, literally just murdering the former country leaders (who are now rebel leaders) in retirement, prison break, and infrastructure destruction and loss of many lives cuz I happen to be related (siblings) to crude oil
human genocide and corrupting a heavenly official into overthrowing Heaven's council
Bunch of stuff, mostly stealing things, working for the government, working for a crime organisation, getting killed in space, etc.
illegal fishing?
I ate some horses
i started an illegal bee cult
-Pipes
...coming first in a fashion show..???
...um...designing hotelrooms
Building pretty houses
thievery and being an enemy of the state
Coloring........
If building a 200-meter tall church in the middle of a ring of mountains doesn't violate like 413 zoning laws and other such things, the sheer number of building code violations and such involved in the design of the structure and the process through which i build it will more than make up for it.
Either making books out of people I've killed or pushing half-dead people into the engine of my bus to convert them into fuel.
Also forcing my coworkers to experience the h̴̡̼͎̲̓͗̋͜ö̸̢̳̭̳͈̩́̄̈́̍̏̌̉̔̎͘r̴͙͚̲͕̥̳͍̬̄̿r̵̛̠͆̋̈́̈́͗̐̿̕͝ǫ̵̮͇̻̅̽̓̄̔̽̊͑́͗͂͜͝r̴̡͕̤̣̤̝͙̲̚ͅs̸͚͉͕͌̈͑͂ but that's common enough, right?
how illegal even is murder in the city
Taking over a country
uh... being a scug (modded)? Idk if this scug really DID anything??? If I played arti, my crimes would be uhhhh. Very Very obvious.
I guess I ate bats, tho I'm not sure If that'd be considered illegal considering batflies aren't endangered
Is Deicide a crime?
I, um...may have accidentally uncanned two Sealed Evils along with a large amount of contamination/plague/virulent tendrily infestation. Also wanton destruction of property.
Fishing
Swearing profusely while trying to catch a particular bit of loot (message in a bottle) from a river for 5 IRL hours, giving up, hunting for bugs and finding an extremely rare one on like the third try.
Catching weirdly-shaped falling bricks.
To be honest, it’s mostly others who’re gonna get arrested, not me, but it depends.
Also, jaywalking.
Painting myself and trying to hide, apparently

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I love this gif. Me when I need my stool
i understand that it's unreasonable to expect a band on world tour to play in every country in the world but i do think they should only be allowed to call it a world tour if they play in every continent. we need to make it embarrassing to say world tour and then not even step foot in africa
The (European) sun is a deadly laser, stay safe everyone
☝️🤓 it’s because the further you move toward the earth’s poles, the lower the angle of the sun is at the hottest parts of the day, meaning the radiation hits your whole body, causing it to feel 10-20 degrees warmer than the thermometer reading will tell you. People from tropical climes, aka close to the equator, are used to the sun’s radiation hitting a much smaller target- their head and shoulders.
Also the further you move toward the poles the more pronounced the difference between the length of day and night is. Worst part of a far-north (or south) heatwave is it doesn’t get dark long enough for meaningful cooling.
It’s not the heat. It very literally is the sun.
shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it
Some weird insults in the Catalan language, from the Instagram account dailycatalan.
May I add pixavins (wine pisser) and tros de soca (piece of stump)

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Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”
You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.
if you had the 2006 guinness book of world records do you remember this guy with the record for the most straws stuffed in a mouth? why is he dressed like he’s in the matrix? slay.
is this the straw man you guys are always arguing with
jessy we have to fucking!!!!!!
Let service industry workers say “fuck” please
I used to work at a sandwich place that also did lattes n stuff. We’d get nasty customers every once in a while, and when we did, we got to unleash Neal. Let me explain...no, it is too much, let me sum up:
The manager moved from the deep south to get this job, he’d been looking for a job in the PNW, and he somehow talked the owners into letting his platonic life mate, Neal, be the Assist Manager. So he, his wife, and his BFF forever come and take over this shop but the owners must not have actually...spoken...to Neal. He was INSANE. I mean, I never had trouble with him, but he frightened the new girls with his crazy eyes, liked knives way too much and looked like one of those tiny white guys who was spoiling for a fight and couldn’t back it up...except he could. 500 pounds of crazy in a 120 pound bag, you might say. But he was perfect, PERFECT for jerk customers who bullied new girls. Here’s an example:
So one day, I’m schlepping sandwiches, and I see the new coffee girl just...get yelled at by this big dude, who seemed way too comfortable yelling at strangers in front of other strangers in a line behind him, and maybe, if this had been somewhere else, he would have gotten away with it, because I have noticed strangers let randos yell at hapless teen college student girls who are tiny and just trying to get a buck man wow that is a whole ass THING anyway I stepped away from my sandwich, went into the back where Neal was slicing vegetables happily with a knife and tapped him in for an intervention.
My man Neal steps out from the back with knife in hand, bless. Steps up to the front and watching the chain reaction of coworkers hiding smiles, customers get big eyes, the new girl being alarmed and confused, and the big dude yelling just...not knowing what was about to happen was this...free show I just ate up om nom nom.
He does the managerial, what seems to be the problem (knife in hand), guy yells, wants his money back. Neal is all, so sorry, sure you can have money back (knife in hand slowly moving), guy yells, new girl steps back, unsure. Neal is all, but you can’t yell, sir, this a place of business, can’t we be reasonable (knife finally rest on counter, now Neal goes for his apron strings uh oh), and all the workers know this means Neal is about to be able to claim he was on break when he punched this guy.
Snacks are coming out. Tea is being drunk. Sandwiches are not being made. The whole place is bated breath on the free show. This is prime popcorn.gif territory irl.
Neal asks the dude to step outside, and the dude goes out! Big plate glass windows, everyone can see but not hear as the beast is unleashed. Neal is up in his grill, not touching, waiting just waiting for the yelling big dude to make the first point of contact. And folks, I am here to tell you that dumbass pushed Neal first and wow have you ever seen a hunting terrier just go for the ankles and take a beast down? It was like that. This guys chickened out so fast from the force of the maniac Assist Mngr ‘on his break’ and it was a beautiful thing to watch. Dude never came back, and the new girl was way more comfortable after that.
So hey. If you ever talk your way into running a shop where you know assholes are going to be mean to your workers, make sure to bring your feral best friend with the crazy eyes who likes knives way too much to defend them.
The European Union already forced Apple to abandon its proprietary charging port and adopt USB-C across its entire iPhone lineup. It just did something bigger. A new EU mandate requires every smartphone sold in Europe including Apple devices to feature a battery that can be replaced by the user without specialist tools, without voiding a warranty, and without sending the device to a manufacturer approved service center. Batteries must maintain a minimum capacity threshold after a set number of charge cycles and replacement parts must remain available for up to ten years after a model goes on sale.
The consumer electronics industry built its current business model around batteries that degrade, cannot be replaced at home, and create a natural upgrade cycle every two to three years. The EU just legislated that model out of existence in the world's largest regulatory market.
Apple, Samsung, and every other manufacturer now faces a choice between redesigning their devices for the European market or accepting that their current hardware architecture is no longer legally sellable there.
Given that no company walks away from European consumers voluntarily the phones are going to change and once they change for Europe the rest of the world will ask why theirs still do not.

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Tetraopes femoratus
starting a collection