A Romantic Aromantic

The documentary includes a brief clip of a 1954 televised newscast about the rise of homosexuality. The host of the program interviewed psychologists, a police officer, and one “known homosexual”. The “known homosexual” is 22 years old. He identifies himself as Curtis White, which is a pseudonym; his name is actually Dale Olson.

So I tracked down the newscast. According to what I can find, Dale Olson may have been the first gay man to appear openly on television and defend his sexual orientation. He explains that there’s nothing wrong with him mentally and he’s never been arrested. When asked whether he’d take a cure if it existed, he says no. When asked whether his family knows he’s gay, he says that they didn’t up until tonight, but he guesses they’re going to find out, and he’ll probably be fired from his job as well. So of course the host is like …why are you doing this interview then? and Dale Olson, cool as cucumber pie, says “I think that this way I can be a little useful to someone besides myself.”

1954. 22 years old. Balls of pure titanium.

Despite the pseudonym, Dale’s boss did indeed recognize him from the TV program, and he was promptly fired the next day. He wrote into ONE magazine six months later to reassure readers that he had gotten a new job at a higher salary.

Curious about what became of him, I looked into his life a little further. It turns out that he ultimately became a very successful publicity agent. He promoted the Rocky movies and Superman. Not only that, but get this: Dale represented Rock Hudson, and he was the person who convinced him to disclose that he had AIDS! He wrote the statement Rock read. And as we know, Rock Hudson’s disclosure had a very significant effect on the national conversation about AIDS in the U.S.

there’s sixteen Colorado counties that their most searched was “wolf furry”, plus thirty-odd counties (not counting either Arapahoe or any of the ones marked here as “Insufficient Data”) which may well have had plenty of searches for “wolf furry”, just fewer than for whatever they’re labeled here

and “skunk furry” searches in Arapahoe County outnumbered “wolf furry” searches in the entire state of Colorado

I often talk about reality checking and going along with it when helping someone deal with delusions, but I felt as if I didn’t really make it clear to what I meant when I said it.

First box: Have they asked you to give them reality checks when they have a delusion. Green “yes” leads to a green box reading: Reality Check. Pink “no” leads to a pink box reading: Let it be / Go Along With It. Black “no, but im still worried” leads to a box reading: Have you asked if you can give them reality checks and they said?

Green “yes” leads to a green box reading: Reality Check. Pink “no” leads to a pink box reading: Let it be / Go Along With It. Black “they said no but im still worried” leads to box reading: Have you asked if there is anything else you can do instead.

Green “yes” leads to green box reading: Do that instead. Pink “no” leads to a pink box reading: Let it be / Go Along With It.

Image #2: Pink box with text reading: What Letting it Be / Going Along With It Is Not: (red “X” bullet points)

adding new information to the delusion / trying to send your friend deeper into the delusion

“that must be scary to believe something that isn’t real”

“keep that to yourself, the more you talk about it the more you’ll encourage yourself”

dismissing your friend’s delusions, saying “everyone thinks like that once in awhile.”

trying to distract your friend from their delusion or act as if it’s a game

What Letting it Be / Going Along With It Is: (blue checkmark bullet points)

allowing your friend to vent or express themselves ( sometimes just talking about their delusions out loud can help them question it )

“I’m so sorry that you’re going through that”

encouraging your friend to express their delusions through poetry, song, art, or other non-harmful things they enjoy

“If that becomes too over whelming for you, you can call me and ask for comfort or a distraction”

allowing your delusional friend to feel safe around you, allowing them to healthily express themselves

Image #3: Green box with text reading: What Reality Checking Is Not: (red “X” bullet points)

“Snap out of it, it’s just a delusion.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Think about it for a second, then you’ll snap out of it”

forcing your friend into the hospital

calling the police on your friend

trying to fix or stop the delusion

What Reality Checking Is: (blue “checkmark” bullet points)

“Could you describe the evidence you have for your belief?”

“How firm are you with this belief? Would you be okay with other suggestions on what could be happening?”

“You’re going to be okay, what you’re fearing won’t hurt you.”

“Can we take a step back? Is what you’re going through effecting those around you?”

“Has what you believe happened to anyone else? What is the likeliness of this being real?”

Helping your friend question the delusion or become aware of how the delusion is affecting them.

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"