I'm gonna be honest, as someone who's experienced "both sides", it's pretty bad as a man and complete fucking hellworld as a woman. Like not to make it a comparison but it's genuinely a completely different level of bad. Men are not giving you genuine options, they're swiping on everyone and then determine whether to unmatch later based on whether they actually like you. The entire way, they're using canned lines or being creeps, or flat out ghosting you.
And usually, they won't ask you out. Or they'll ask you out, but not actually, having no plan, no availability, and no initiative to do anything other than showering lines on you. So women are still actually the ones faced with the situation to properly initiate dates and face to face interaction, but men act like they're the initiators because they typed enough words to say that you should go out sometime.
Even if I tried to get a date with everyone that I matched with, and even if I didn't tell them I'm trans (which would be stupid), I don't think I could get a date with these people. Especially not one that actually develops into anything.
And before anyone swings in with "oh but you're a trans woman you don't get the real experience" I don't put that I'm trans in my bio and most people can't tell. I tell people directly before meeting anyone in person but that happens after enough conversation has happened for a vibe check.
In your analogy, women are in a mirage in the desert. An outsider thinks they have water everywhere, but they don't.
