*hears thunder* thor if thats u bitch i love u

This is Zeus erasure

Zeus deserves to be erased

dont get all ur social and political views off of one-sentence tumblr text posts with no depth or explanation

how am i supposed to take this advice then

like listen i hate so many harmless fun things but at least i don’t pretend im fighting a noble social justice battle. im, like, just a hater.

I need to be the hottest person at the grocery store

This perfectly captures my ridiculous inner monologue that revolves around impressing other people in the most oblique ways

Yes

who wants to see the worst thing ive seen this week

Yall sont understand this is the funniest thing ive experienced in weeks

holy fucking shit

I’m losing my SHIT

This is some magical shit

The sad thing is, I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot.

I would argue its the Kara person - because she doesn’t it. Mike is pointing out the obvious

the obvious? what do you mean?

that she played ignorant, was treated accordingly, and that it was silly that she took offense over being deceptive about her understanding

could you explain further? I’m not sure I understand your meaning

I’ve never seen two murders in one post before.

Someone take away his Instagram. Please.

damn i hate when someone starts talking to me about how great the breakfast club is and for 5 minutes i gotta nod and pretend that wasnt the most boring movie ive ever seen in my entire life. this keeps happening to me

England as a country has small dick energy

in theory its super bad when straight dudes go “hey ur a lesbian? we both like girls we’re the same!” but in reality this has happened twice and most recently was today when a guy i was training in the frame shop went “oh you’re gay?” “yea” “that’s cool. it’s cool that you told me. we both like girls and star wars so it’s nice that we have a shift together :)” like god damn it brett you’re so respectful and thoughtful with your goddamned words

the posts that are like “straight men can never love a woman like a lesbian” are cool jokes and stuff but u gotta really appreciate dudes who have no idea what its like to be gay but try their best to try and relate. “we both like hot ladies” you know what, ryan? that’s close enough. i appreciate that.

@commie-saskia

Unconfirmed. It’s a heterosexual song 100%

I wrote it and I’m gay as hell lmao

No…. I wrote it… it’s for The Gays™️