Rory and Lorelai made fun of Donna Reed because she was the perfect housewife and according to them represented the wrong expectations put on women at the time to always look perfect, to clean, to cook for their husbands and to be cheerful all the time.
Deans argument was that maybe she is glad to cook and make her family happy. That it is a nice picture to see a wholesome family. That his mother cooks dinners for him and his family all the time and that doesn’t make her any less of a feminist. You can choose to be a housewife and cook for your family and still be an independent woman.
Rory then got mad (the actual reason why they had an argument) because the women that Donna Reed represented didn’t have a choice but to be housewives.
Later when she invites Dean to visit her and surprises him with the whole dinner and housewife demonstration they have fun but Dean tells her that he doesn’t want her to be Donna Reed and he likes her for who she is.
Rory then reassures him that she actually researched Donna Reed and found out that she was a wife that wore big skirts and baked cookies for her husband but she was also a producer on her television show and was one of the first female executives.
So in the end she dressed up as one of her female idols and cooked dinner for the boy she liked because SHE wanted to do it. And it’s a really special message for women too. Feminism now preaches that a woman needs no man. Housewives and stay at home moms are constantly judged for their choice of the “simple life”. It doesn’t mean that they NEED a man but that they have CHOSEN a man and A FAMILY and that doesn’t make them inferior to other women and that doesn’t mean they support the oppression of women.
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