You bleed because you don't floss.

like off the top of my head there’s

”The stage really isn’t the place to go searching for yourself” this is actually the most ironic thing homie could have said😭😭😭😭😭he didn’t know guys he didn’t knowwww

“I only encouraged her to perform at the Isshokai for my own goals” way back when, kaisei was actually the one to encourage her to participate in the selection event hmmm but that wasn’t for your own goals now was it? He did all that because that’s his fave kouhai lmao.

“I’m kinda in an hurry” and then proceeds to extend the conversation unprompted…..There’s this imagery of her chasing his back as he walks forward. But brother you are inventing reasons to look back 😭like we get it she’s your favorite kouhai and you see yourself in her we get it….

“It’s a real shame” is crazy bc from Akane’s perspective at the time, the words just remind her of her failure. She literally starts crying afterwards. But Kaisei was speaking genuinely. He would’ve liked to perform with her (as her senior lollll not as the underdog), AND it’s a shame she didn’t win with her Dad’s art, “the second half wasn’t bad.” He’s speaking to both points. This is kinda wild when we remember he’s a student of Issho.

An ISSHO OPINION would completely toss Akane’s performance at the Rensekai aside! “How can the Arakawa school entrust someone who doesn’t believe in his own art”Unlike Issho, Kaisei sees the worth in Akane’s “weakness,” and by extension Shinta’s weakness, and acknowledges it as such.

His behavior here reminds me a lot of how he acts at the start of the Isshokai. He empathizes with Akane’s fired up shonen protag mentality, but regretfully has to inform her that this event isn’t about their rivalry. It’s about rubbing elbows with rich people who barely even value rakugo as an art, as much as they do the idea of accessing the exclusive Issho Arakawa performance. Just like when he talked to Akane then, he all but admits how “It’s a real shame.”

It’s a real shame these people don’t really care about rakugo. It’s a real shame this event is all about Issho and the rest of them are just a fun side-piece, never quite able to leave his shadow. It’s a damn shame, but that’s how it is. How it always is. Over and over, what Kaisei thinks is appropriate for rakugo, does not align with how he feels about rakugo. Kaisei has been showing signs of disagreeing with Issho’s ideals/methods. The conduit for all that was and is Akane.

Essentially, Kaisei is taking everything he felt regarding Akane’s “weakness” back then, and now redirecting that energy towards his own art.

This is all very nice to see come together. While Akane has been set up to follow her Master’s legacy despite coming into rakugo for o other reasons (though her dad admits Akane would have become a rakugoka regardless of if he made it to Shin’uchi), Kaisei has been set up to reject his Master’s legacy despite coming to rakugo specifically to be like Issho.

^^This is so funny now we literally had him admit he always felt like Akane might be able to understand him. And is another example of him using Issho’s ideals as a mask for his true feelings. “I’m not interested in you” after he basically channeled all his jealousy around Rokuro and Akane into his horror performance…..Most repressed man you’ve ever seen….no wonder he is Like That.

I’m also curious about his deeper opinions on Shiguma and Shiguma’s art. Pre-heartbreak Kaisei kept insisting he didn’t care and wouldn’t mind if Akane learned Shiguma’s Art, but since failing his Shin’uchi exam, it’s a lot more personal. He “can’t forgive” Shiguma’s Art, because of how it impacts his Master, but like, Issho is a grown man. Isn’t it actually that he can’t forgive Issho and doesn’t know where to direct all his feelings, because he is still ultimately playing his games by helping him with the Isshokai and what not??? The same Isshokai where he is resigned to be a show pony??? Hmm.

ANIMALS:

catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear

piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave

pluto-lichen: horses

misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like

pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially

SEX:

dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.

dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”

SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad

shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze

sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon

alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices

dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.

the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes

typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy

draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices

11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note

fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is

emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣

NON-FOOD STUFF:

red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.

bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket

nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English

sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp

danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author

meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does

vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'

leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake

fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?

dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic

msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate

shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September

baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird

twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)

waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up

violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours

[IMAGE ID: a manga page from march comes in like a lion. the panel reads, in order:

rei, a young boy in glasses, asking: "uh, 'convenience stir-fry'?"

hina, a young girl, replies: "it's a lot of work to wash, cut, and saute food every time you want to eat, right? so if you divide up 'fried things' before you season them for next time you have a meal, then it'll be a lot easier next time you're eating."

the next panel has an image of food being stir-fried, with a list next to it reading:

chopped pork

onion

carrots

ginger

napa cabbage

garlic shoots

greater burdock

hina's explanation continues beside it: "the pork miso soup we make is kind of like hot pot -- you can cut up as much as you want of each of those and fry them in sesame oil. so you can fry up some extra, and then, before you put in the soup stock and stuff, you only leave in the stuff you're gonna eat today in the pot, and take the rest out and freeze it for next time you're cooking!"

a panel of ziploc bags full of food, and a fridge with an annotation reading 'make sure to cool it down before freezing it' beside it.

the next panel has hina and rei again, with hina saying: "and then you've got a shortcut for the washing, cutting, and frying part. it's super easy!"

and rei replying: "so that's why you call it convenience stir-fry?!!" with an 'i get it!' annotation over his head.

the last panel has a bunch of food on a table, described in hina's dialogue: "you like ramen, right, rei-chan? when you're boiling water, you can put this convenience stir-fry in and make it kinda decadent!"

a dialogue bubble of rei exclaiming 'oooh!!' with an annotation 'salt ramen can become 'meat and vegetable ramen'!!' over it.

hina's dialogue continues: "and also, just heat it up in the microwave and you can eat it as a snack!! you can even put seasoning on or add in anything else you feel like having!!"

beside the dialogue are pictures of various sauces like yakiniku and soy sauce beside a play of stir-fry and onigiri.